My Mosaic

Hi @Bow, I'm so sorry to hear the pain you are feeling today, and want you to know we are sitting here with you

Would you feel comfortable telling us what is going on for you today?

We are here to listen and support you

@Daisydreamer I can try...

I seen my psychologist again today. She tries to reassure me over and over that things will get better. That the nightmares and flashbacks will not always be there. That I won't always be in this heightened state of anxiety. That hopefully come Friday when I see the psychiatrist there, that she will be able to give me something to help me get through this period of time. She is going to put forward my case to their team meeting on Friday for me to be allocated a case manager for some additional support.

But I can't see past now. I can't see past the crushing pain that I feel.

She tried not to talk about anything that would trigger me today, we even cut the session short in the end, but something that seemingly shouldn't of been a trigger really set me off. Why has so much bad stuff happened to me? What have I don't to deserve all of this?

I just feel so broken. My spirit, my soul. Shattered. I don't ever see things being easy. I don't see how things can get better. I just don't see any point. I have no hope.

Hi @Bow ,

I hear you, and I can understand why it is so hard to maintain hope right now despite your psychologist's assurances. Living the nightmare that is our own thoughts, and fearing what our minds can do to us is so isolating and overwhelming- and many people, including psychologists, struggle to understand and empathise with what it is like to face that everyday. How exhausting and painful it is. So your doubts and fears are completely normal and understandable.

While we may have not have been through the same things, I can recognise a lot of what you're going through and feeling right now from my own experiences with trauma and therapy. I can understand that sense of injustice you feel, and how defeated and crushed this has all left you. Please know that that you are never alone and it does get better and easier with time. From someone who has come to a better place with my mental health, how you're feeling at this stage in the process is okay, and I'm so proud of all the steps you have taken to get this far.

What is something kind you can do for yourself this afternoon and the rest of this week until your appointment with your psychiatrist?

from cloudcore

I spoke with my psychologist about the hopelessness that I feel at the moment. And we talked about my SI. She really pressed me for details, she wants to help me stay safe. But I was really hesitant in giving up any real details, I know that if I was completely honest with her she wouldn't of let me go home today. And she would of contacted my Mum who doesn't need this at the moment. My step dads condition has taken a turn and he is really unwell at the moment. I need to get over this. But how can I?

All just too much tonight they won't stop I want them to go away I can't do it

Sitting quietly beside you @Bow and here to support you as best I can. 💝

Thanks @Daisydreamer @Emelia8 i called and spoke with local comm mh team last night. Wasn't overly helpful but enough to get me through and then I managed to get some sleep.

Good to hear @Bow ... well done. 😄👍 Happy to know you managed some sleep, and hoping that continues. Love and hugs to you. 💝

Glad to hear you took those steps @Bow and got some sleep. I hope that continues for you today. Stay strong🙏🌻