My Mosaic

I’m the same @Snowie lots in my cart. But I don’t need it

trying to cut back on my orders this year.

Hey @Bow

I always have lots in my cart too. They have so many good things!

Also love shopping from my couch. Don't have to worry about other people.

Finally in bed.

I hope you get some sleep tonight

I am so sorry to hear this week is feeling tough. 😔 @Bow

It sounds like a big week of 'adulting' ahead, which is always so exhausting - especially where pain is present.

I understand why your body would be feeling disconnected; this is a lot to hold.

What is one thing you could do to be kind to yourself this week?

And I am well, thank you so much for asking. I am taking the beginning of the year slow and trying to enjoy the little moments. 🥰

@AuntGlow Yep, horrible week ahead of me.

don’t know what I can do to be kind to myself. Don’t even know if I got anything in me to be kind. Lot of negativity inside.

just surviving

Seen my gp this morning. Tried to be honest as I could. I think she was genuinely concerned about my state of mind. She expressed frustration around the constant waiting that occurs within the public system. No psychologist. Waiting to hear back from CM about a potential planned admission and info about ECT as an outpatient. I think she was really wanting me to just go down to the ED and be inpatient while I wait for these things.
She asked why I thought things were rather challenging at the moment. I told her that there was a trauma anniversary looming. My SW who was there with me asked whether I’d felt ready to tell my gp some info about what happened. Think I was caught off guard. I froze a bit. Stared at the wall and shook my head. SW and I had previously talked about the need to tell my gp- so she can better support me.
it’s also very hard to talk when your very tired. Not a good night last night.

Hi dear @Bow

Well done for going to the gp. Sometimes that is hard within itself. I'm glad your SW was there to support you.

If it will keep you safe hon, then maybe going in whilst waiting for CM to get back to you might not be a bad idea. I know how hard it is to go in, especially with D.

Talking about those trauma anniversaries can be really hard. Even just saying that one is coming up is hard enough.

Hi @Snowie thanks for caring. My gp also talked about being aware of the signs of me being really unwell. She was even able to list off a few of them to remind me. So I will try and remember them too.

I really want to avoid hospital, but will try and be mindful of all that stuff. Gp asked SW to be a bit more vigilant too.

i think my gp kinda suggested that my SW maybe attend my appointment with my CM on Thursday… not sure. My CM will not like that though. She isn’t a big fan of my SW unfortunately lol my SW has very strong advocacy skills I guess ya could say. Can be assertive and pushy? Which is great for me. My CM is very much for me having my appointments with her to just be me and her..,, yet look at the many times she has bought people to my appointment… :face_with_rolling_eyes:

im just cleaning my ensuite this arvo and then I’ll dust in my room. Tomorrow daughter’s room will be tackled and then that’s mostly it.

how’s your day?

I'll always care about you @Bow

I have a list of signs to recognise me being unwell.

I have the list on my phone. Can you maybe put it on your phone so you always have them near you.

I know you want to avoid hospital hon. It not only affects us, but people around us too. A lot more pressure but onto them.

I think you do what is comfortable for you. If that is having your SW with you when you see your CM, then that is what you do. It is your life, your health, your choice.

Well done for the cleaning hon. I know it has to be done, but you had a very big morning. I'm sure the couch is very inviting. Hopefully D will help with her room.

Didn't get much sleep last night. Had to take mum to the bank this morning. She lost her credit card, so had to cancel it and apply for a new one. Then had to take her to the supermarket. Took her home and tried to show her how to go from channel 9 to 7 and back again. I don't think she understood me at all.

I guess at least it kept me busy. Come home and crashed. Maxed my prn out.

Thanks @Snowie I’ll always care for you too. Often you are why I stick around here.

I think I put together some kind of list when I made a safety plan some time ago. I should find that and have a look.

i managed to finish my room and D wanted to make a start on her room, so that’s mostly done too. Just got a box to sort through tomorrow. Then we can mostly relax.

im sorry you didn’t sleep well last night and then had to be out and about with your mum and stuff. That’s rough.

Do you have anything on tomorrow?

@Bow same with you hon. You are one of the reasons I keep coming back.

The list can help at times. It is in my safety plan too which I have a copy on my phone. Least it is easily found.

Well done on finishing your room hon and starting on D's. If she wants to clean, then never say no to that!! Hopefully you can have some time to yourself tomorrow after you've finished. Have a couch and movie afternoon

I was trying to explain how to go from channel 9 (the tennis) to channel 7 (home and away) but she just got more confused. Will ring her just before 7 and hopefully she can do it with me helping in the background.

Sleep deprived is hard. I know you know what it's like.

I really want to go to kmart. Thought I might get up early and go tomorrow before too many people are there.

Is D looking forward to going back to school? Have you done all the school shopping yet?