Yeah @Snowie
after everything that happened Saturday I sent my SW a text. She replied this morning asking if I could send my CM a list of everything I had wanted to talk to her about on Saturday. I don’t have any of those details. I can’t email or text my CM. And my SW knows that, I’ve told her many times before. And then my SW said she wanted to do a quick home visit this morning. I always do my groceries and get my meds Monday morning. She knows that. So I reminded her and then let her know that I had a dietitian appointment in the morning and would be free from 11:30am. Felt really frustrated. My SW always does a home visit Monday at 1:30.
My dietitian appointment was actually really good. I sent her an email last night updating her a little, which she encouraged me to do. We discussed my recent medical complications I’ve been dealing with and how so very frustrating the public system is. I’ve been on the wait list for nearly 18mths for a procedure. My gp recent an updated referral updating them with these recent complications. My gp said the wait is only 12mths generally. I also tried to call them to see what was going on. Called for days and it just rings out. I get a letter today with an appointment day for the same clinic for June next year!! It’s like the process has started all over again. Absolutely fuming! I about burst into tears.
anyways expressed my frustration over that to my dietitian and then just the whole public system in general and went into detail about what happened in the weekend with my CM. And how I feel so very unsupported by everyone. Just all the crap that’s been happening the last couple of weeks.
but anyways, we ended up talking about the very real possibility of me doing a planned admission in a couple of weeks time if things do not improve. Circuit breaker if you will. Mums home Wednesday and I don’t know if that’s going to be a good thing or a really bad thing. But we spent like 1/2 talking about my mental health. I felt safe to talk. I felt heard. I felt validated. It was such a relief to finally be able to talk to someone. I cried a fair bit. Then she was like … well I kinda do have to ask you about your food and fluid intake and we both laughed.
she sent me an email summary again which is really helpful for me cause I can show my supports.
but then I had a huge vulnerability hangover and I crashed. I was waiting around to see if my SW would come. 1:30 came around and nothing. And then of course my thoughts spiral. But then she texted and arrived at 2pm. I was a bit disappointed cause she wouldn’t be able to stay long cause of school pick ups, but it was something. She will most likely be able to come tomorrow too and Wednesday. Which I sooo extremely appreciate.
I have a little bit of home work from my SW. got 3 lists to work on.
1- what are some good things that i do and things that I am talented at.
2- what are things I have done that have given me joy and sense of achievement.
3- what do I want to do that will give me joy and fulfillment.
they are hard… but I’m gonna try to make a start.
I really hope all of that was ok to share. Sorry it’s long
