My Mosaic

Not really I don’t think @Jynx the kittens and mumma are all down stairs in where they can he shut away. The dang dog has been annoying though!

Hmm it’s just like putting moisturizer on. At least that’s the one I use. I went and had a professional fake tan once, only wanted my legs done and I felt real judged. So never went back.

yeah I have a display cabinet for my books and then another display cabinet for all my other Alice stuff. Lego, figurines, tea cups and tea pots, tins and other random things I find.

I take a pic tomorrow and show you. Mums away for 2 weeks.

you got anything exciting or out of the ordinary coming up?

Hi dear @Bow

Hoping your weekend is going well.

@Bow aww poor kitties, getting scared by the dog! Hehe how are they today?

Ahh yes you see that there is the problem. I also hate putting on moisturiser!! Even sunscreen. I just...I HATE being sticky!! 😅

You would probably enjoy my latest craft idea. Remember I (maybe?) mentioned my ceiling was magnetic? I've got this fancy silver serving tray and a bunch of old teacups. Gonna put magnets on them all and find an old teapot too so I can stick a serving set to my roof! Because...the silly 😋

Might catch up with my friends on Monday after they get back from a wedding in SA, so that should be nice. Haven't seen em in a while. What's on your horizon?

Kitties are good today @Jynx snoozing at the moment.

I’ve had an awful day. My body feels yuck. Gross. My head is screaming alot of ED monster thoughts. D is at her father’s today. I went to the shops. Need some shorts. Gosh not a good idea when the Ed monster is already loud. Made it all worse. Seeing myself in all them stupid mirrors.

A SW (not mine) messaged me to check in and do my accountability stuff. They tried to be kind but my heads just no not ok.

hope that’s ok to post. Just needing to get it out of my head. Be heard. Not alone. I’m safe.

and then my chest hurts. Like I’ve pulled a muscle but I did nothing. Like why’s it hurting? Just go away.

@Bow difficult day by the sounds of it hun. Mysterious body pains are the worst. And it's always rough to be confronted by our insecurities like that hey. Aww hun

(づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡

Are you able to chill the rest of today?

Yeah I’ve just plonked myself on the couch @Jynx

I spent a few hours down stairs trying to do some work. I’m annoyed. Feel defeated. Wasted the afternoon cause I couldn’t do what I wanted to do. Stupid computer programs. Trying to make calendars.

@Bow that's rough, it's so much harder to manage frustration when we're already so low, hey.

That's so cute though, hehe some angels do indeed have whiskers!! 😋

Do you have market tomorrow?

Yep pretty low at the moment @Jynx

@driving home yesterday from the book fair and beach I was thinking…. Like along the lines of how utterly boring my life is. It has no meaning. Another week has rolled around and I have nothing to show for it. Yet another week is going to start. My thoughts got pretty dark yeah. I let out this big sigh. D obviously heard it and asked if I was ok? I said yeah. She then said I heard you.

I know I got her. She’s literally it though. I’m Safe ok. But the yearning is real strong at the moment. It comes in ebbs and flows. But it’s high and big and loud and wide.

absolutely doesn’t help that I have all these horrible body hatred stuff, tired not sleeping well, medical complications going on, heat.. YUCK and coming up to a god horrible time of the year.

no market tomorrow. Was going to take D to a collectors con that is on locally. Never been to one before. But I don’t know now. Maybe a day at home is much needed.

Finding meaning is a pretty big existential challenge that we gotta face as humans, hey @Bow. It's not just about tryna tick the boxes we're told to tick to be happy, I reckon it's about what we believe in and how we can build meaning and purpose into our lives through that lens. It's one of the reasons why I got into mental health - I wanted to be the person I needed when I was younger, and believe that no one should be shamed or judged for not coping with the absolute absurdity of being alive.

Trauma disconnects us from a lot, including sometimes our sense of purpose. Makes sense when your entire purpose becomes survival. If we then get stuck in survival mode for some time, reconnecting with that sense of motivation and purpose can be really difficult. But it's not impossible. You aren't alone in this hun 💜

Yeah let's make a thread for people who hate summer 🤣

And that sounds so wholesome!! Absolutely prioritise rest if needed, but if you go I hope you both have an amazing time. Maybe you can tell me about it tomorrow!
Be gentle with your wonderful self ok? Nighty night!

@Jynx I just stayed home today. I had a bad night with nightmares and this weird pain that I have. I’m a side sleeper but that was extremely painful, so had to sleep on my back and it felt very uncomfortable. Every time I woke up, especially from a nightmare I needed comfort… needed to be comfortable. Being on my back felt exposed. It was not a good night.

I’ve had to work had at keeping myself busy today. Desperate to be back in bed. Spent the day downstairs in the cave. Found myself dissociating a lot don’t know why and felt frustrated by it.

managed to get a couple of art pieces done. Christmas stuff. Disappointed in myself. Have fluffed around too much and wasted so much time doing nothing.

how was your day?