My mum has this hectic skill @Bow of being able to completely forget information she finds too distressing! It's a mental defense from her own childhood trauma she never dealth with - repression. Reason I bring it up is cos I wonder if like... there's some repression going on amongst your supports? This is not supposed to be an accusation towards them, nor a criticism, and I might be very wrong, but honestly it is a topic that we are socialised to never talk about, and sometimes humans have a habit of blocking out stuff they don't feel capable of thinking about safely. Because it is also something that can carry particularly intense trauma for women and uterine-bodied individuals too. Even MH professionals can be uneasy around a topic and not want to bring it up unless a client does first.
Of course, all of that becomes deeply unfair and problematic when it results in you feeling like you both can't talk about it in a lot of spaces, and that you also have to continuously educate folks around you about the experience too - and sounds like doing so is to satisfy their curiosity far more often than it is about them actually holding that space for you.
I think some of that is unavoidable - I mean, we can always work towards social change but in the meantime we still gotta play by the crappy rules. We can't force people to be understanding or open-minded, only protect ourselves from those who prove to be the opposite.
Curious, was it all of your supports? Is there anyone you're feeling super let down by? Cos I reckon it's definitely worth a conversation with em - but maybe in a few weeks when your system has hopefully settled a bit?
