My Mosaic

You are right @Bow

Arts and Craft isn't your problem. They need to work it out. Maybe it's good that you are missing some of them. Gives them a chance to work out how they are going to run it.

I did the elf when my kids were little. They loved it. He did get drunk one night!!

Love to see the next photo!

Hmm I think it’s more the first one @Jynx like I want to cry… I need to cry…. All this stuff should be making me cry, but it’s like my tears are dry. There is definitely emotions there, I’m feeling a lot inside, but nothing.
I think I can relate to what you said in that one of my parts could be blocking the tears. There are parts that don’t like tears. Don’t like crying cause it’s messy. Don’t like crying cause it’s not ok to cry.

Physical recovery is absolutely horrid. You know I stopped a certain behavior and my body eventually recovered, but it was hard work, very uncomfortable and took a long time. But then I started it again! I’ve tried reducing again in the last month, but it’s worse this time. So painful and uncomfortable! Even just increasing my intake is horrible. My body is like what on earth is all this food and so much more often! Body is not use to. Urgh! Why would anyone want to recover????

was it hard coming up with a new name?

Is nonbinary kinda like middle ground? Neither male nor female?
I wouldn’t want a beard! My brother has a very ginger long heard and it’s like his pride and joy! But I just can’t! Itchy, hot. Ick! I hated stubble on my ex. Couldn’t deal!
is there much of a process to go through starting testosterone?

oh that reminds me, one of my foster kids when I worked. He was still pretty young, like I think 8 or 9. And he desperately wanted to be a girl. He preferred to dress in dresses. He constantly made comments about wanting to cut off body parts and grow others. At that point I’d never seen it before, neither had the service. But we found a specialist for him to see… who totally support this kid’s preferences. But then I went on leave and then never went back so no idea what happened.

If I come back from my holiday and find out all they did was colouring in @Snowie im gonna be mad! And if that’s all they do when I’m not doing something else then I won’t go…. That’s what this lady did when she lead it before and it was so boring!

I will definitely share photos

Hopefully they realise just how much you brought to the group @Bow but maybe they already know that.

I'm sure D is loving elf!

@Bow aww hun, that's so rough. Maybe chat to your psych about whether you could maybe try to make contact with this part and work through some of this internal conflict? I do have some pages saved from the book Polysecure, that book I've been harping on about last couple months that take you through an inner-parts dialogue exercise - can share if you're interested. Cos this part of you that is shutting down your tears isn't a baddie!! Just trying to protect you in the only ways it has learned how, which are now unfortunately more of a hindrance than a support.

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@Bow wrote:

Why would anyone want to recover????

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Aww hun, it's a lot, I know. I am reminded of this:

My name is kinda funny actually, I named myself after one of my characters! A character that's been with me since I was a kid 😊

Nonbinary is more of an umbrella term to encapsulate a range of identities, basically whichever ones don't fit into 'male' or 'female'. I think gender fluid and agender both kinda suit me so they're the labels I usually pick! Buuuut nonbinary is just the easiest to explain I think.

I mean, I just gotta go find a GP who is up to snuff with gender stuff and should be able to start straight away! It's the organising that gets me 😅

Yeah I think with gender stuff, it really is just that there's no education about it, and for most of us (myself included) it can be off-putting the first time we meet a trans person - because we're all socialised to believe in gender roles.

Oh my stars time really flies when you're waxing lyrical with the forums fam!! I better dash, thanks for the chats darlin, can pick up the thread again tomorrow if you like 😊💜

They know it @Snowie and they remind me of it constantly… which makes me very uncomfortable 🥴

Hey @Bow

Hey @tyme 👋

Whatcha doing?

Hey @Bow ,

I'm pretty okay. Just busy finalising things before the end of the year. So much to do.

I just purchased a new heat pump for my pool to replace the older one. Today, I cleaned the pool more so I can use it on Monday when it's over 40 degrees.

The kids finish school on the 20th I think.

What's happening on your side of the world? I saw the Christmas art you have been making. Pretty cool.

You got any time off over the holidays @tyme ? I know you don’t celebrate… but rest, family.

pool sounds nice? Do you get in it much? Got a friend that has one and they give us an open invitation to use it… but it’s such an effort. Rarely go.

just finishing up our list of things to do before we leave next week. Final bloods, appointments etc. our internet is down too. So trying to get that sorted asap before we leave.
I’m tired too. Weary.