My Mosaic

That's exactly what I'm planning too @Bow are you watching anything in particular?

Just neighbors @Ru-bee and then we might put a Christmas movie on.

I missed a call from comm mh while eating dinner. They called yesterday to check in cause I didn’t take any of their calls last week. Same lady on tonight. And I had no issue with them agreeing to call me today to check in…. Where as I always have to justify why I need a call when talking to my CM.

why is everything so bloody hard????

my Christmas bunting I made…. We hung it inside our marquee for the Christmas market on Friday night. I think I could have sold it 10 times!

Ugh that does sound frustrating re your CM @Bow

I watched Little Women last night because it felt Christmassy and I'd just bought a Christmas tree, first real one I've had in about 10 years! Only issue it I don't have enough decorations to fill it up so I'm currently drying citrus slices to try to DIY some... Tonight I'll just be watching Love Island 😂 I've been sucked in to the mindless entertainment

I don't doubt you could've sold that bunting! It looked awesome!

Anywho I'm off, time to flop on the couch. I hope you have a relaxing evening

You busy @Jynx ? Don’t wanna stretch you thin

@Bow Never too busy to connect my dear! How you doing?

Did a bit of a brain dump a little back before rubeee @Jynx I’m ready for bed

@Bow that inconsistency in your support team rearing its head again eh? How soon are you allowed to go to bed? Time for big cosy hours!!

Yeah @Jynx sometimes it’s nice to imagine a support team just the way I like/need/want. But then I remember that ain’t reality. That ain’t ever gonna happen. Then sometimes it’s nice to imagine a life where a support team is no longer needed. But then that inner critic laughs in my face that’s never gonna happen either.

I’ve had a very sudden increase in daytime flashbacks the last week too. Realised today I got a trauma anniversary coming up. Should have remembered. Always this time of the year. Haven’t told anyone cause I don’t really feel safe in doing so.

bed time is still over an hour away

@Bow You are totally allowed to tell your inner critic it's not very nice to laugh at someone who is trying to hold onto hope! You don't have to get mad at em, just sorta gently explain that the more you picture the life you want, the more likely we are to start taking steps towards it! Your inner critic is trying to avoid the potential disappointment of that not happening, but it's just going about it in a really mean and unhelpful way! Kind of a gnarly picture but this sums it up:

You have told someone! You told me! Super rough though, sorry to hear it hun. But you have this insight now - what's been helpful getting you through this anniversary in the past?

Lots of truth in that pic eh @Jynx if only it was that easy though eh. The brain is an interesting thing. Wish the re-wiring was much easier to do.
We got one week of schema therapy group left. We have learnt so much. We talked about the healthy adult today and one of the facilitators commented on how much easier it was for us to come up with healthy adult responses today than at the beginning. But it feels like there is so much more work to be done. 😩

True… I did tell you. Thanks. What gets me through…. Support. Having my people on my side. Understanding. I don’t know. I feel alone