Thanks @Snowie
@I’ve had a pretty yuck day. I messaged my SW early this morning and told her that I had something to give her. She was a bit puzzled by it and I reframed it and said that I had something to dispose of. Think she understood then. I needed to message her and tell her or I may not of followed through with it.
I went to my arts and craft group. I didn’t really want to be there today. Sometimes I feel really uncomfortable when people keep heaping the praise on about my work. I just wanna sit and do my thing. But anyways, we did some watercolour work and then everyone played some board games and I did some cards.
once everyone had left my SW and I sat down and she asked what I had, I told her. She asked me when I bought it and I told her when. Then she said so you were dishonest. Yep. I lied. So what. I lie about this all the time. If only she knew how often. But her confirming it didn’t make me feel any better about myself. I already felt terrible. But then she changed her tone and said well I’m glad you’ve told me now and that we are throwing it out. Yes, let’s look at it from that point of view. I’m telling you now and we are getting rid of it.
Then it was off to my pdoc appointment. I was heaps anxious about this cause I knew that if I didn’t tell her about what we just did, that my SW would. She actually asks about my ED. How that’s all going. Where I’m at with my intake and stuff and what symptoms I have. I actually like and appreciate that she does all that. My other pdoc, the one that is currently away and is suppose to be back this month but no one really knows if he will be, but he hardly ever acknowledged my ED. He came in and adjusted my meds straight away and that’s all his really done. I like this new lady pdoc. But then she asked about my SH and SI. I hesitated a bit, but then told. I told her what I bought, what I planned to do with it and when. But that I didn’t and that it was just disposed of. She asked a few questions which I tried I answer. And then that was it.
I don’t know. Am I expecting too much? But it just feels like too little care. Mind you, I sent that letter of complaint in, got the email response from the patient liaison officer saying that comm mh would speak with me, and yes you guessed, nothing. A big fat NOTHING. I just don’t get it. There is so little care. Fuck it, I’m just over it. Like am I just too high maintenance? Too needy? Am I just expecting too much? Too much of a burden on a service that doesn’t really care. Like my case manager was also there today, ‘I’ll see you next week’. I’d be sick of me too.
