My Mosaic

Safe as I can be @Ru-bee

@I wanna go to bed. Everything else is just too hard

How far away is bed tonight @Bow, few more hours?

Yeah unfortunately @Ru-bee got another couple of hours at least….. unless I can convince mum I’m so tired and she sends me to bed

I'm just heading off now @Bow but I hope that bedtime comes quickly for you and I'll chat with you tomorrow

@Jynx you around?

Hiya @Bow was just about to come check in on ya! How you travelling?

Pretty rough @Jynx really struggling at the moment. Had enough of fighting this relentless battle

Aye, super rough @Bow, I'm not surprised you're exhausted by it all!

How's it with your mum being home?

It’s good to have her back @Jynx lightens the load a bit. But me ED is still super over controlling and working hard… but gotta be sneaky about it- talked about this in me schema group on Monday.

feeling pretty defeated with it all at the moment. Doing all these things to try and work my on my ED but the self hatred, self loafing and my weight will always get in the way. Like no amount of therapy is gonna change my weight.
got me left feeling pretty hopeless. Sinking deeper and deeper into this pit that’s scary

@Bow glad you're able to talk the ED stuff through with your group. Any interesting insights or ideas from them?

Just thinking about the notion that 'no amount of therapy can change my weight' and whilst technically true... I think the more effective therapeutic goal would be to change your relationship to your body and your weight. There's a relationship between prolonged stress and weight gain: "...elevated cortisol levels circulating in your body lower your metabolism and encourage cravings for fat and sugars" (source). I think it could just be one of those little paradoxes, where it is only through practicing acceptance of how things are, that they will then begin to change to where we want them to be.

I'm sorry to hear that it feels you're sinking deeper hun. Is it something you've been able to chat to any of your team about?