My Mosaic

Yeah that’s kinda what it feels like @Jynx i could try mention it to one of the facilitators. We ran over time today. I think last time we did this safe imagery thing. I did reach out to my SW on my way home cause again I really struggled driving myself home. Was suppose to do something when I got home but haven’t.

random chat would probably be helpful if it’s not too much of a bother.

Hope that if you do bring it up, you feel heard and acknowledged @Bow

Could you try doing the safe imagery exercise again?

Never a bother to chat to you hun! Now, the tricky part... A topic! Hmmm....

Have you been overseas before? If so, where? And like, where would you go if you could go anywhere?

They actually recorded the safe imagery thing and sent it to us. Hmm thinking of how I might be able to incorporate it into my journey home after group @Jynx

I love talking about travel cause I love to travel. I’ve been fortunate to of travelled overseas a bit.
Amercia for 3mths when I was 20 for summer camp. Then went to Canada afterwards for a couple of months for a white Christmas.
India for a church missions trip

Philippines for another church trip.
NZ for a work trip

UK, France and USA couple of years ago.

I’d love to do more of the UK and Europe. And D and I want to do all the disneylands

what about you @Jynx ?

@Bow oh neat!! I hope you can figure it out 😉

And if it wouldn't be breaching anonymity or confidentiality (of the group), feel free to share the recording too, I imagine there's many here who could benefit from it, myself included!

Oh nice!! So many amazing places you've experienced! Any stand out as your fav?

Also how many Disneylands are there?! That'd be a whole trip around the world hey, wow!

I've had a white Christmas too, once! Was in Dublin, Ireland after I did a 6 month uni exchange in Glasgow, a friend of mine (who I'd met cos he did a uni exchange to Australia) lives with his family there. Cuddling up next to a real fire, and actual snow outside? So cool! Really drew awareness to just how silly it is that we have kept so many xmas traditions going over here when it's usually 35 degrees outside 😂

I've been to Korea (my older sister was adopted from there as a baby, so it was cool she got to see where she was born! I was super young and don't remember much, other than getting chased by bees who wanted my waffles 🤣), Germany a couple times, France/Czech Republic once, UK for uni exchange (omg I LOVED Scotland, would recommend it over England any day), and did a trip through S. America including Chile, Bolivia, and Peru, to do my Ayahuasca and Wachuma ceremonies. Peru was MAGICAL, I really wanna go back!

Just going to reply quickly @Jynx i took a prn on top of my meds tonight and she’s all starting to hit me.!

you travel adventures all sound amazing! I had no idea you had travelled so much.

No stand outs for me, they all have their highlights.
and there are 8 disneylands

Oh my @Bow hope it means you're off to sleepy town in no time hun!!

Yeah I was very lucky my parents were well off and could take us places! And same to you, you've travelled so much! Amazing 😊

Wow, eight huh? I hope you get to all of em one day, that would be so incredible for you both!

Nighty night, I'm guessing! I will chat to you next time lovely one, sweet dreams 💜

Sorry @Jynx i fell asleep pretty quick with that extra prn. But gosh I’ve been tired today, even with my stimulate meds. Today’s been pretty rough.
I chatted with my SW after arts and craft today. Admitted to what I have purchased yesterday and that I did not dispose of it like I was suppose to.
She’s seeing how much I struggle after these group sessions. She has offered to take me there and pick me back up again….. I said idk. That’s a big ask. I’m not very safe at the moment. I’ve not felt this low for this long for a while. It’s a bit scary. Fairly concerning. SW has reported concerns to CM. Wonder if she will call.
I feel so hopeless. Extremely hopeless. Like nothing will ever change so what is the point. Really.

Aww @Bow 🥺

I'm glad you spoke to your SW about things, and I do hope the CM calls you. If not, what other steps could you take tonight to help you stay safe hun?

If there's one thing that is certain in this life, it is that things always change. You may have been stuck in this darkness for a long time hun, but that does not mean it is forever.

I don’t know @Jynx i think I’ll just end up in bed early again. Watch a bit of tv.
I see my psychologist tomorrow morning. Swimming with dread 😩

what if there is genuinely no hope for things to get better for me though @Jynx ??? My pdoc says I have treatment resistant depression. It’s sucks. Depression is truly horrible.

@Bow Mm I imagine it might be a tough session, if you're sitting in that space of not knowing how honest to be with your psych. But it could also end up being a super helpful session.

Your narrative creates your reality hun. If you believe things won't get better, then they won't... and sometimes we can even end up self-sabotaging without realising to keep our world in line with our narrative. We are both author and protagonist, and to me, that can be incredibly empowering.

I can answer your question honestly (which is that there is ALWAYS hope) but it won't be as powerful as you telling yourself that. You can even give it a go, right now, just gently say out loud to yourself, "I still have hope." It might feel uncomfortable, and your brain might immediately shut it down or protest it... but there's power in words, and even more power in words we say and hear from ourselves.