My Mosaic

Had my schema group today. Really rough one. Struggled to stay present and focused so not sure how much I actually took in.
didn’t help that I really wasn’t in the greatest of head spaces when I went in.
I cancelled my dietitian appointment this morning, don’t really see the point.

compliant/surrender/hopeless schema mode very active at the moment.

@Bow perhaps just the fact that you can identify which schema is most active atm means you did take some stuff in?

Sounds like you took the steps you needed to take to look after yourself - sometimes that includes cancelling appts.

Your D back with you yet?

Had to google it to remember the same of it though @Jynx oh well. I did manage to take some notes… or copy stuff from the board.

Nah, more like avoiding. Or not wasting her time. Nothing has changed and I’m not willing to make any changes so why bother??

D came home Saturday night. Didn’t manage to do a sleepover. She came home and cried cause she missed me.

@Bow oh good on you! You may have missed some stuff (and hey, we all have those days where our brains are just...mush, lol) but you took the time to revise and look it up to help solidify it into your mind! Nice one, proud of you 😊

Well I still stand by what I said - if you felt the appt would not be helpful, and perhaps end up frustrating you or making you feel crappy, then cancelling it is not a bad thing at all. And maybe that's something to bring up next appt, or with your psych maybe, is feeling like it's pointless and maybe looking for some ways to change tact.

Aww ickle darling, missed her mama!! I'm glad she's back home and you can both enjoy the cuddles and time spent together, warms my heart 💜

Sinking

fighting Urges

Here with you @Bow - got my boxing gloves on too, we can fight em together 💪💜

Feels so raw and vulnerable tonight @Jynx like it’s all be opened up and left there.
and I really don’t like it. Want it to stop.

overwhelmin sad

@Bow is this residue from a particularly intense appt/group session, or just the general feeling of the evening?

Got some self-care you could put into practice tonight? Spiky mat time? Sounds like you're sitting with some intense dysregulation and it's got you feeling extra vulnerable. I'm here holding your hand darlin, giving it a comforting squeeze 🤝💜

Bit of residue from group today @Jynx which I think has just grown. Processing bits and pieces since leaving I guess. I really under estimate how taxing and exhausting group is on me. Turning up. Sitting there. Trying to stay present. All that jazz.

bed feels like a good option but it’s too early.

@Bow makes a lotta sense hun, it sounds like maybe it's like... a bunch of stuff was all pulled out of the cupboard, but there wasn't an opportunity to put it all back again. Maybe something to chat to the facilitator about? Like some gentle grounding and soothing exercises at the end of group could go down a treat.

Well I'm here another couple hours, we could chat about random stuff till bedtime rolls around?