My Mosaic

Group today was really hard. I feel very raw, vulnerable and not very safe.

We had to send a photo of ourselves as a little kid into the facilitator. She printed it out and we had to cut, glue and stick them all onto a piece of large cardboard. They will be on display each week as a representation of our vulnerable child.
Everyone else was able to look at their photo. We’re able to make comments etc. They might of felt a bit of disconnect but they were all able to still look. I couldn’t. It was so hard. I sat there and was wanting to run. Escape. How can I do this for the next 23 weeks?????

I really struggled to drive myself home. I messaged my SW and we chatted briefly. And I messaged her again when I did get home. Now I have the evening to deal with

Oh hon @Bow I don't think I would have been able to look either. I think that you did a great job by just sending in the photo in the first place. Are you able to speak to the facilitator and tell her just how hard it is for you?

Hopefully you can have a bit of a relax now that you are home and give yourself that time to just be.

Here with you 💕💕

I wouldn't be able to do that @Bow . I feel for you all I can offer is a cuppa right now.

At this moment I am safe @PizzaMondo am curled up in bed. But not feeling it for tonight.

@Eve7 @Snowie I already had the photo on my phone from when I sent it to my old psych (now the group facilitator) so thankfully I didn’t need to go looking for it.
facilitator has already emailed…. She sent through a safe imagery recording. I won’t email back today..: maybe tomorrow. They knew how difficult it was though…. They did the whole string connection thing with me again when they seen how difficult it was for me… I appreciated that. but yeah I am even more anxious now about facing it every week with that photo staring at me.

there are 2 girls that do most of the talking… and me and another girl who mostly sit quietly taking it all in.

I’d like to stay curled up in bed for the rest of the evening. But I can’t.

You did really well to sit through the whole session @Bow so that’s a win hon.

I am currently studying biochemistry which is absolute gobbly mook to me. I will never study another chemistry subject again.

What are you studying again @Eve7 i forget?

@PizzaMondo Yes the facilitator both seem really good at reading the room and the participants. They don’t seem to be making everyone share…. So far anyways. Which I really appreciate. Although they did say they may ask me if I have anything to share… and that’s only because I initially shared that I am quiet and don’t often get heard when I do share. But no pressure to share they said. So I like that.
And yes I will be scanning the room next week for a spot where I don’t have to stare at those photos. That’s for sure!

I don’t really have much on tonight. Dinner shortly. Then a night of tv. Probably will be in bed early.

I’m doing a B.HlthSc in nutrition and exercise @Bow . It has been interesting until this semester of biochemistry which is doing my head in completely.