My Mosaic

Ok @Bow that's a really good plan! I hope you get some rest and reach out if you need support from a crisis line later. RiverSeal

You there @RiverSeal ?

Hey @Bow yeah I'm here 🙂 RiverSeal

In your lives experience @RiverSeal have you struggled with SI?

Yeah, I have a real lot @Bow and to be honest I still have thoughts about it when things get overwhelming. Nothing like it used to be though and those times were very challenging. I totally get it when Forums Members like yourself are experiencing SI and I know how challenging those thoughts are. I believe we can work on ourselves and find a better place where we don't have to sit with these thoughts so much. RiverSeal

Were you ever genuinely scared @RiverSeal ? That you would attempt and succeed?

Yeah, @Bow I was, and I've come to realise that as humans we have an inbuilt desire to live that is next to impossible to overcome. So even in our darkest hour we want to live it's just the thought of ending the pain we are experiencing is overwhelming. I believe we can move to a more pleasant place in life with fewer of these thoughts and feel better about life. What are your thoughts about how you feel about SI? RiverSeal

I think I can relate to what you have said here @RiverSeal but so very often the thoughts are so loud and overpowering. They have been so relentless lately. And I have in the past acted impulsively on my thoughts. And I think the desire to not want to live in this miserable existence of a life any longer is stronger than the desire to want to live. I’ve made a number of attempts in the last couple of years that have been rather serious and landed me in icu for some time.

Our journeys are our own @Bow and at the end of the day, we have to find our way to walk the path. I believe we can all find a way to a better place though it is challenging. We all have different lives and resources so what works for me won't necessarily work for you. So much of what you do is amazing like the connection you have here on the Forums, your support, how you reach out to crisis supports, you go to hospital when you need to, and you talk about your feelings. These are all steps in the recovery journey, and you are well on your way. We are all here a SANE to support you when you need it and to share our lived experience when we can support you with it. Stay strong @Bow and know that you are loved in this community, and we care about you! RiverSeal

@Bow you are sitting with some big thoughts hon, I hope today goes a little better for you.

Thinking of you 💌💌