I'm trying @Emelia8 I am. I know I need to stay well and like you said now more than ever. I am afraid depression has taken grip even more the last week, I guess it's too be expected? It does make everything else far worse, easy things that I use to manage in order to take care of my myself have fallen to the way side. I lack a lot of motivation to do anything, even my morning walks are a real struggle. I sit ... or lay around a fair bit and do not a lot. Church tomorrow, I have managed to get my responsibilities covered by someone else and now very much feel like I won't go. Something that I use to enjoy is now something that I dread. Feel like such a fake. A fraud. A failure. I dread the questions being asked how I am, knowing that I can't tell people the truth. I hate the awkward conversation around the changes to how I appear, why do people always praise weight lose? Why do they ask how do you do it? My eating hasn't been great this week at all, that's why I was surprised when my gp said my potassium was great, she was even surprised and said I must be doing something right.
I am suppose to start with my new psychologist in just under 2 weeks. I am unsure what the focus needs to be in the beginning, I feel quiet overwhelmed with having to start again... feels like that's all I've been doing in recent months. New gp, my oldest psychologist, 2 psychiatrist.... and then 2 hospital visits where I had to tell my story and useless comm mh visits. I'm just rambling now, it's a distraction from the intense sh and si thoughts I have raging inside at the moment.
I'll go now though, get D moving ready for bed etc, hope you enjoyed your dinner. Thank you again @Emelia8 how are you doing really? Tomorrow is looming for you? I hope I remember the date correctly?
love to you
