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Something’s not right

My Mosaic

My Mosaic

My Mosaic

I like mosaic art, I’ve never actually done any, but it intrigued me. Made up of hundreds of tiny pieces of stone, glass and ceramic. If you look at it close up it doesn’t really look like anything special, if anything it looks like a mess. But if you take a step back and view the whole picture- it’s a master piece. I guess it’s kind of like life. So many tiny parts, some messy if we look just at the one part. Some day i guess I’d hope that the mess of my life will at some point look half decent.

So here is part of my mosaic, bits and pieces kept tidy together 🙂

tagging you @Emelia8 cause you asked 🙂

22179 replies

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In response to: My Mosaic

Re: My Mosaic

Suppose to see my CM tomorrow morning too @Jynx but gonna have to cancel that one. Dietitian is zoom, so can still do that while D is home. Of all the times I need to unload with someone….

In response to: Re: My Mosaic

Re: My Mosaic

Could you make the CM appt a phone chat or something @Bow? Sucks to have all your scheduled stuff get disrupted ay.

In response to: Re: My Mosaic

Re: My Mosaic

Yeah I can ask @Jynx

struggling to make the right choices tonight

In response to: Re: My Mosaic

Re: My Mosaic

Anything I can help you with @Bow? You can run some by me, or vent, or if you just need some words of encouragement, I got those too.

In response to: Re: My Mosaic

Re: My Mosaic

Shouldn’t even be thinking these. It’s not even an option @Jynx

just been a hard day

so I think about other things

In response to: Re: My Mosaic

Re: My Mosaic

Mm makes sense, after a rough day your brain defaults to the things that have alleviated distress in the past, even if it's not something you actually want to entertain. But the thoughts don't have to have power over you @Bow - would it help to focus on something practical, help keep your mind and hands busy?

In response to: Re: My Mosaic

Re: My Mosaic

It’s default @Jynx

it’s what I know

its what I do

In response to: Re: My Mosaic

Re: My Mosaic

@Bow default does not mean that it's also the only way to be. Brains are never static, they can always be rewired.

In response to: Re: My Mosaic

Re: My Mosaic

😢😢 regrets

In response to: Re: My Mosaic

Re: My Mosaic

I had my appointment with my dietitian this morning. Talked a fair bit about my recent medical admission, everything that went wrong, the trauma associated with it, I got to vent and was heard and validated and we put in a bit of a plan if I need another admission.

Im not real sure how to describe or what word to use this arvo, but it doesn’t feel nice inside. I think discussing and letting my dietitian know about the things that went on while there more and things about my discharge, I am just so very angry and disappointed in the health system.
I told my dietitian about my bloods. That my electrolytes started to drop prior to my discharge- I logged into my health records and was able to see my daily blood results, that the hospital ignored this, failed to do a repeat blood the morning of my discharge and then copied and pasted days old results into my discharge letter. I was then not sent home on electrolytes supplements. This puts me at greater risk of refeeding syndrome. And considering that my bloods dropped further after my discharge when followed up by my gp. SIGH. My dietitian said that this is medical neglect and they are lucky I didn’t go into cardiac arrest. I have bloods done in the morning so will be interesting to see where things are at.

I was also not provided with a copy of a meal plan. I have basically just been going off memory of what I was given and winging it. My dietitian was surprised that I didn’t get this. She also asked whether I was provided with a prescription for ensure. I actually didn’t know this was a thing. But as the hospital dietitian wanted me to continue to have it then I should have been provided with it. The hospital are the only people who can provide this too, private dietitian can’t. So I can called and left a message for a dietitian at the hospital to call me. Hopefully they will. And hopefully they can provide this for me. Cause this stuff ain’t cheap.
We discussed that if I ever need a future admission that my dietitian has noted down and will provide the hospital with a clear letter of recommendation that NG feds start straight away, that they manage my nausea and bowel issues properly and that I am sent home with the correct supplement and scripts.

It’s unfortunate but all too common that folk like me experience all this stuff. If eating disorder patients are admitted under the medical care of the gastro teams then they should be made to receive ED training. Hospital dietitian’s recommendation should hold more weight and power as they are more experienced… especially if gastro folks don’t have the experience! And apparently there is heaps of government funding for EDs but it’s not filtering down into hospitals.
She also said that it would be a good idea for me to chase up with my ED pdoc again. Try and get in contact with her.

sorry I’m just having a vent. It makes me so angry and upset. I actually wanna cry this arvo.


She seems to think that considering all the other current stressors, I am doing ok.

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