My Mosaic

I’m feeling heaps overwhelmed at the moment.
The hospital dietitian came around this morning and they are moving me to a bolus exchange program. Meaning that I have a meal plan and each items equals a certain amount, if I don’t eat that item then I get a certain amount of ensure (like up and go but tastes worse). I’ve had a tiny bit of soup the last couple of nights and that’s all I’ve had in x days. Now I am expected to eat whole meals.
A kitchen lady just dropped off all these ensures for me and they are all gross flavours. F#€k!
My NG feds will be turned off during the day and switched back on for a while overnight.
I had a tiny bit of lunch today and I was so nauseated afterwards.
I’ve also not been to the loo in way too long…. Mostly due to an ED behaviour and I’m now starting to get really uncomfortable and painful. Sigh 😩

Thats a big step up that they are expecting that you do @Bow

Well done on having a little bit, that's better than nothing.

Can they give you something to help with going to the loo?

It feels so huge @Snowie 😩

yeah I spoke to my nurse… she said that she can give me something…. But she is so busy today. They are all run off their feet.

All you can do is try @Bow they can't expect anything else then that. If it doesn't work then it doesn't work. On to a new plan.

The nurses here are run of their feet too. Need some prn but don't want to be a nuisance. Don't want to be that person.

I gotta try real hard @Snowie i gotta get out of here next week. Mum leaves on Saturday. It’s so much pressure!
Im really not looking forward to the coming days. How hard it’s all going to be. It’s not just the mental struggle either… but it’s the physical too…. There is so much physical discomfort to refeeding. The nausea. The bloat. The stomach pains and discomforts.
Last night after dinner I asked for medication for nausea and a prn cause I’d got myself so worked up over stuff. I got the nausea medication… but no prn. And I didn’t wanna be a nuisance.

it’s hard when they are so busy and we feel like we don’t wanna be a nuisance and be that patient.

have you been up to much this afternoon?

mum and my D came to visit. They are coming back tomorrow for the day. D is bringing a bag full of things to do and endless supplies of snacks!

todays drawing. I love this quote

 @Jynx

I struggling so much this afternoon 😩

I probably won’t be around much longer but I’m here to listen if you lik? @Bow

Ohhh @Bow that is such a beautiful piece! I really love the idea in those words, and your script skills are incredible!!

I'm sorry to hear it's a rough one this arvo 😢 Sitting with you hun 💜

Thanks @Jynx mum and D were here earlier. They are back tomorrow. But I’m struggling in my head. And struggling with a lot of physical discomfort.

thanks @Captain24 you safe?