My Mosaic

I think I went in with too high expectations @Emelia8 and not helped at all by my gp being very clinical and not at all compassionate and understanding.

Was hit with the stark reality of the decision that I have to make. She laid it out, explained my options and left it at that. She gave me a referral for a scan, I'm not at all ready for that.
I'm really not in an ok place. My gp is the only person irl that knows and I think I was hoping for a little warm and support. I didn't get that today. Maybe she was having a day. I don't know.

I took my daughter out for dinner tonight, I promised her that last week, I didn't feel like going at all, but I went for her. She is now asleep and in the quiet and loneliness of the night I am finding my mind wandering off in not so good places. I have reach my capacity to cope with this situation @Emelia8 it has truly broken me and I can't face the turmoil of another day. I've considered it a lot.

@Bow 😔🌷🌻💝

Dealing with doctors can be really hard sometimes @Bow. It sounds like what they had to tell you was a little confronting and you've been left to deal with that without the support you might have needed- it's frustrating and disheartening, especially when they were the person you were counting on. I'm wondering if there's anything else you might be able to do to help you get through? Feel free to keep posting here too if you need too, or reach out somewhere offline if things start to feel too distressing. Hope things improve for you soon 💝

whats the point @TideisTurning ? wont change anything.

i'll go. wont cause any more trouble.

Not trouble @Bow- you're welcome here.

I'm sorry it feels like things won't improve. It can be really hard to keep hoping they will when nothing seems to change. Here with you. ❤️

You're not causing any trouble here @Bow .

Perhaps you could call the help line you used before, that you found reasonably helpful. Is there a Christian call centre /helpline you could call?

always cause trouble here. all my stuff. just a burden that people dont need anymore. im sorry im not strong enough for this.

You’re not a burden @Bow

I really hope you sleep well tonight.

Love and hugs

💜🤗🙏🤗💜

@Bow

Thank you @outlander you too @Eve7 @Emelia8

I didn't sleep well last night, I just couldn't switch off. But managed to get some sleep late this morning, don't think I got up til after 10. I did speak with my gp about continuing with my medication, she said what I am taking is ok, not too many risks and that perhaps the risk would be higher for me if I didn't take them at the moment?
trying to keep busy today, done the lawns in misty rain- they needed doing. And just now having some toast. My bloods were at least good yesterday my gp said, which honestly I was surprised about.
hope you all have a good day. ❤️🤗