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My Mosaic

BowSenior Contributor18 Nov 2020, 7:26 pm AEDT

My Mosaic

My Mosaic

I like mosaic art, I’ve never actually done any, but it intrigued me. Made up of hundreds of tiny pieces of stone, glass and ceramic. If you look at it close up it doesn’t really look like anything special, if anything it looks like a mess. But if you take a step back and view the whole picture- it’s a master piece. I guess it’s kind of like life. So many tiny parts, some messy if we look just at the one part. Some day i guess I’d hope that the mess of my life will at some point look half decent.

So here is part of my mosaic, bits and pieces kept tidy together 🙂

tagging you @Emelia8 cause you asked 🙂

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In response to: My Mosaic

SnowieSenior Contributor23 Dec 2023, 4:00 pm AEDT

Re: My Mosaic

@Bow you are not interrupting hon, not in the slightest.

I'm sorry to hear you are tired and sore hon. Happy to chat/sit with you hon.

@creative_writer I think sometimes we put others first so we don't have to deal with what is happening with ourselves. If we don't acknowledge it then maybe it isn't happening, it isn't true.

I'm sorry about the flashbacks, they are hard to deal with. I agree that putting your mental and physical health do need to come first, especially with placements happening.

In response to: Re: My Mosaic

creative_writerSenior Contributor23 Dec 2023, 4:06 pm AEDT

Re: My Mosaic

@Bow, as @Snowie, you are not interrupting. I feel a bit guilty for taking over your thread. I didn’t mean to, sorry if I did. Don’t hesitate, feel free to talk 💖. I hope you do start feeling better, feeling fatigued and sore isn’t a good feeling, sitting with you

@Snowie, I feel like I had a delay in developing PTSD because I used to deny things, it didn’t feel like it happened. One day I woke up and was like shit. Flashbacks are definitely easier than they used to be, but it does take a lot of hard work over time for things to get easier

In response to: Re: My Mosaic

SnowieSenior Contributor23 Dec 2023, 4:16 pm AEDT

Re: My Mosaic

@creative_writer I was much the same way. I closed of a lot of my childhood trauma for a long time. It didn't reach boiling point until I had adult trauma.

I'm glad your flashbacks are getting easier. It does show that the work you are putting into your mental health is worth it. I acknowledge how hard it is however. Sometimes it feels like the finish line keeps moving.

In response to: Re: My Mosaic

creative_writerSenior Contributor23 Dec 2023, 4:51 pm AEDT

Re: My Mosaic

@Snowie, I reached boiling point a couple of years proceeding trauma. I kept quiet because that’s what I thought I was meant to do. I thought people wouldn’t understand or believe me. Going to trauma therapy helped, but it did open up the other hidden traumas, like enmeshment trauma and trauma of growing up with a parent with mental illness. I also thought I was over childhood bullying, but I’m not sure if I am

In response to: Re: My Mosaic

SnowieSenior Contributor23 Dec 2023, 4:59 pm AEDT

Re: My Mosaic

I don't think we ever 'get over' our trauma @creative_writer I think that we just learn how to deal with it better. It will always be a part of us. I have had to learn that sometimes just growing as a person is enough. That I am enough. Something I am still working towards.

In response to: Re: My Mosaic

creative_writerSenior Contributor23 Dec 2023, 5:20 pm AEDT

Re: My Mosaic

@Snowie, that’s true. Childhood bullying isn’t what strikes me the most now, as awful as it was, I feel like it no longer hurts so much. I think I hurt more about SA, invalidation of my emotions while growing up and growing up with a parent with mental illness. I haven’t really spoken much about how my mum’s mental health has affected mine since it feels like I’m sharing someone else’s secret. It’s not easy growing up with a mum who has had bouts of SI in the past

In response to: Re: My Mosaic

SnowieSenior Contributor23 Dec 2023, 5:28 pm AEDT

Re: My Mosaic

It must of been hard for you growing up @creative_writer with your mum. I'm sorry that you had to go through all of that. Perhaps it is something you might like to talk about to your support team. I believe that it is as much as your story as it is your mums.

In response to: Re: My Mosaic

creative_writerSenior Contributor23 Dec 2023, 5:50 pm AEDT

Re: My Mosaic

@Snowie, perhaps. It’s just hard to trust even supports with such intimate details about my life. I wish it wasn’t this way, but it is

In response to: Re: My Mosaic

SnowieSenior Contributor23 Dec 2023, 5:57 pm AEDT

Re: My Mosaic

I think it takes a long time to build up that trust @creative_writer even with our supports.

I have been with my current psych for over a year and the trust between her and I is still developing. It is a continual process.

In response to: Re: My Mosaic

creative_writerSenior Contributor23 Dec 2023, 6:08 pm AEDT

Re: My Mosaic

@Snowie, do you ever feel as though your supports don’t understand you on a deeper level? I don’t really feel many can

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.