Despairing

Hi everyone

It's taken me a while to build up the courage to make a post. I haven't used forums before.

I have experienced multiple traumas in my life and have relied on CBT and other therapies to get me through.

This year has been one of my most difficult on record. Unlike most people, COVID brought me relief from an unbearably stressful situation. As life has began returning to 'normal' for many, my situation has returned and most recently taken a turn for the worst. I have put a lot of time in with my Psychologist to overcome this situation and it feels like just as everything was finally improving, the bully has been rewarded for their bad behaviour and I am back in my pit of despair and fear.

It feels like no matter what I do this person will continue to impact on my life. I know it is unhelpful to think this way as I am giving my power away so I keep trying to modify my thought space. I am exhausted and feel like I just want to give up. I am trying to focus on the positives in my life that help me to remain. Trying to convince myself that everything will work out ok but if I'm honest, after 50 years of struggle its not any easier, good does not triumph over evil like in the movies! There may not be a 'work around' for this situation. Each time I have dealt with adversity, reinvented myself and found a new way forward, the rug is pulled, I fall in a heap and find it more difficult to get up again, to want to get up again.