Worn out and blamed for everything!

Hi @Stussy , it's great you've reached out here. It sounds like your 33 year old has had a lot going on, and a lot is getting put on your shoulders. It's tough having those constant shifts between responses that are loving and blaming too- I feel like it'd make it hard for anyone! There's a similar problem with a member of my family, who can be fine with us sometimes and then really snappy and stand-offish at other times. It can be really hard not to take personally when it's someone you love. The thing that's helped me is to remember that in many of those snappy moments, it's their mental health issue talking (this could be their trauma or after effects of experiences too if not a specific diagnosis), not necessarily the rational person I know them to be usually. The other thing is to put some boundaries in place for yourself as much as you can, such as 'I'll let them come to me if they want to' or around how in depth you're ok with discussing certain topics and to make sure you take care of yourself. Be kind to yourself too- it sounds like you're doing the best you can. Sometimes, that's hard, and that's ok.

That aside, I'm hearing that you are a big source of support for your children, and I'm wondering if you have any sources of support for yourself? A counsellor or other person you can talk to?

TideisTurning 😊

I feel exactly the same. I have just found this site - for many years I accessed other sites to read and respond to others' posts. I have been on the journey 15 years now. The last 10 years have been dreadful, due to DD using ice. It is truly a nightmare. When I read others' posts though I don't feel so alone. There are so many of us struggling day by day, coping with things that people who are not dealing with a loved one with BPD could never imagine. I hope you can feel less alone when you are on this site.

We don't cope we just become mechanical creatures, we numb our feelings, live in fear of our children and are shamed by society. I feel your pain. My child is only 14 and has managed to destroy my soul, up until 1 year ago I was a successful executive, happy marriage loving home. Now we are known to police and a regular at the mental health ward. I find my self hating her more each day, I don't like to admit that but it is the truth.

Hi @Samantha3078 Thank you so much for your honesty and courage in sharing with us. I'm hearing your pain and I'm sorry to hear the road has been so rough for you. Also sensing your strength in having kept going.

TideisTurning 😊