Waiting Always Waiting

I don't know you @LostAngel - so it's hard to know why you choose to be submissive - and that has to be a horrible state - waiting for other people to make up your mind for you - you must be so lonely inside - waiting

Where did the screaming come from? - I know - it's all the pressure inside you waiting to blast it's way out and you must be in so much pain

This sounds easy but it's not - it's a tough start but worth it - think about what you want to do - how ever simple - like what you want to watch on TV or eat - and decide that it's only to please you and no one else - you have the right to please yourself - we all do - and insist

It's really hard to change our own habits - harder to convince someone that we are doing so - but if we can learn to make small choices we will make bigger ones

We do have to fit in - that's true - but we can also learn that sometimes we can be first - and we have a right to be

And if we can learn to be first with small things - our vision can grow and we can make bigger choices - like even career choices -

Please don't wait any longer - you do have a right to be happy - to please yourself and to be first sometimes

I am sorry you are so lost Angel - when we are children we are taught to be seen and not heard, we are not given choices, we are told to sit down and shut up and eat your dinner etc - as adults - we can speak our mind and refuse food that we don't like if there is a choice

All the best - I hope life works out better for you - even in small things - no need to wait for other people at all eventually

Dec

SOmething about your post resonated with me @LostAngel DOnt have words atm so sending a picture.

I chose it for its foreground/ background, its content and its colour. Hope you like it.

thank you the picture looks homely

Gotcha @LostAngel

That can be true sometimes - perhaps the people who know us have expectations that are not really what can be helpful when we are battling

And it is hard to stop being submissive and people sometimes have a way of giving us the flick if we do stand up for ourselves - which we need to do and have the right to do

People pleasing is common and has not benefits unless we really want to fit in and something this is appropriate - but we need to please ourselves too and sort out our level in the pecking order too - and we can find that space ourselves

I do hear you

Dec

ok so just an update on today so Ive done some thinking and wether Ive become a little impulsive or not Ive made some desisions for some reason mostly in regards to my non existent social life Ive gotten a bit desperate for human interaction,getting out of the house ect so I decided to put myself first by literally asking for what I think my need is and whats lacking at the momment and whats lacking is social connection and it honestly feels weird that Im asking for something so normal that Im just not getting that it can come accross as a little bit crazy to ask considering I dont normally ask for what I need it seems odd to be asking but then it makes sense to me however crazy it might sound to others anyway what Im trying to get at is Ive tried to think of any and every way I could get out and meet new people so Ive asked about a church event from someone whos in a church and Ive also asked someone else about night clubs and Ive asked someone else if they would like to bring their friends to my house if they need a place to just hang out for a bit so yeah besides that Ive messaged every person I know on facebook to have some kind of a talk to so that not just talking to the same people but multiple people next step might be to ring lifeline cause I literally need to talk to another human over the phone or something,loneliness for a number of reasons has become a big issue and feeling the need to just wait all the time really hasnt helped so Ive decided to stop waiting,I geuss Im trying to help myself as much as possible although it seems odd to put my needs first but then again Ive gotten to the point of feeling so desperate that Imust put myself first thanks for your support everyone it means alot and Im getting there LostAngel

Hey @LostAngel - just popping in to say that you're doing an amazingly awesome thing by reaching out and trying to expand your social circles. It can be hard putting yourself out there!
If you're wanting to chat to someone on the phone, I wholly recommend giving the SANE Help Centre a call as well (1800 187 263) - they're an awesome bunch, and this is entirely the kind of thing they're good at.

Take care

Hey @Jynx

I'm having lots of trouble with loneliness, and are trying to extend my social interactions. Covid has made this difficult and greatly impacted my anxiety.

Are you saying that the SANE Help Centre will take a call from me, to have a chat?
I live on my own, too unwell to work and don't have any friends - sometimes I just need someone to talk to. These forums are a great help, but I do feel sometimes I'm a burden.

With thanks,

WIP