I'm really scared

@Powderfinger It’s awful feeling disconnected , numb and broken. I’m really sorry you are feeling so low.

I have no suggestions. I’m hearing you. Sending you some 💕💕💕

Hi Ramble, you're so not alone although I'm sure you feel like that. I've felt that way. It lasted as long a a peice of string, in other words, as long as it needed , like it needed to reset my commitment to my life values or something. I'll for geffo experience it again I imagine.Stress, greif, sorrow. I play my guitar, have for more than 40 years, but for the last 10 years or so, I'd just put it down, for a couple of years, and then 4 years the last time. I had no cup to runneth over, no joy to express. Then Change came, and she moved things along. They say Change is the only constant.

I thnk it's called the Dark Night. Many well respected wise one's have experienced it over the Ages. Just be kind to yourself. That sure is a chlallenge! but worthy practise in the game of life.

What will help you feel safe?

I reckon the silent majority of humanity go through times like this but 'cos of stigma they just hide it away. Kermit the frog said keep on believing, keep on pretending, he seemed of be of the attitude that we dream Beauty into the world.

I hope all the best things for you.

I just remembered it's called the dark night of the soul.

@Maggie thank you ♥️

@grayhorn

Hi, yes it's called dark night of the soul. Sometimes a necessary thing to go through to clear out all the horrible muck that has been with you for years. A time if letting go, shedding, change, query. There is much grief, sadness, hurt, just a dark place. It's very messy. As you said it lasted as long as a piece of string. I will not allow anyone to put pressure on me anymore. It's a boundary I'm going to lay. I will not jump just because someone says jump. I'll tell them to go jump.in a lake first.

I don't know what else to say, except that. Thanks for sharing.

@Powderfinger

perhaps numb at the moment is your minds way of protecting you from other thoughts? I am the carer, not the caree, but days where I don't give a rats about anything, and maybe even take to my bed for a day, give my mind time to recoup.

Maybe not as dire as you are worried about?

Love S

@SJT63

I am not sure actually. It is what it is and I just have no energy to deal with it right now. Thanks for sharing.

Hi Ramble sorry to hear that your going through this sending strength and remember you have friends here to listen LostAngel

Hi @Powderfinger . I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. I also go through periods like this but usually for me, it means my depression is slipping back into play and I need to take care of me. It's like something is missing that I can't figure out. I'm not going to tell you what to do as you have said you don't want medication or a therapist. What I will say is I am thinking of you right now💐.

Take care and please stay safe😎

Judi9877

@Powderfinger

Hey there. So I have had similar feelings and experiences with disconnecting. The problem with it is that it can become comfortable and danger lurks close by normally.

It becomes too comfortable unfortunately and we risk losing more than what we know.

Let me start with the odd one I do first ...
Believe it or not I find that wood glue is good help. I scratch and I used to self-harm when I got triggered. If i find myself going to that space... I say its the Brenda's invading my head( no offence to anyone named Brenda) When Brenda Invades and takes over what I do is I spread a thin layer of glue on my arm or my scares .. . wait for it to dry and I focus all my energy that would go to the brendas on the glue. its amazing how that simple act takes your mind off it for a bit...

Second crazy thing.. Have you ever seen the colourful rubber bands in the stationary shops? I have one of each colour around my wrist and they go with me all over I never take them off... they break off at the end. If I feel anxiety or the brenda club poping up I fiddel with them and play with them. It helps heaps and the colours are pretty too...

third crazy thing ...

a smooth Crystal or rock.. I have one in my pocket, next to my bed. laptop bag... and and and
If i need something to have in my hands I have one close by and it is amazing how that a stone can bring you some peace.

If I am going of my nut ( Head)
I check in with myself... First I am barefoot (ALOT) I have something with texture o the floor next to my bed. I have laminated floors so I have a peace of clothing or a rug or something with a different texture then what the floor is as I am used to the feeling of the floor. Then I got.. ok do I feel my feet? .. Now this is the part where people go I am crazy BUT!! if panic and fear sets in then a lot of people feel like they are hovering or floating ... By checking in you slow your brain down to a level that you can grab the brendas and yeet them into the corner... Feeling your feet and then working your way up.. are the back of your legs touching something? what is it and explore it... what about your lower back ...

Being disconnected is different form person to person or Brenda to Brenda . Self care souds silly but its Important . If your a tea drinker have a try at Rooibos tea... Its a South African tea but its rather good and helps me with stress when I feel or don't feel.

I am a SA survivor and I disconnect a lot from the daily grind ...

I hope my ranting makes sense and helps a bit. Tag me If you have any questions .