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Living with an elderly person that is drowning in depression and drowning myself

TyroneContributor03 Nov 2020, 11:27 am AEDT

Living with an elderly person that is drowning in depression and drowning myself

16 yrs ago i found myself on the streets after my parents got sick of my behaviour. After 2 days on the street i ran into the most beautiful man id ever meet his name was Geoffrey. Geoffrey gave me a bed fed me and made sure i was comfortable and left me. For days he would leave and return with no word of where he was going on the third night he confided in me that if he was to continue to help me he would have to introduce me to his boyfriend Trevor. This story is only partly about me though as Geoffrey and Trevor helped me return to school and finally get a job and life was great. All this changed when on the 26th January 2019 Geoffrey suffered a catostrophic brain haemmorhage and Trevor and I had do a bedside ritual and sadly had to say goodbye 1 week later.

When Geoffrey first died i felt empowered strangely and i went to work to clean up the mess that Geoffrey left us with. See Geoffrey, Trevor and I are hoarders and for 6 months i fought tooth and nail to try to get this house into a fit state. Then Covid hit and my courage overtime was destroyed till where we find ourselves now.

Trevor is in such a state that he cries all the time at the drop of a hat and im not in any state mentally to help him. I cant help myself let alone help him i just dont know what to do anymore iv mentioned to my psych if i was braver i probably would end it all but then again i wouldnt want to hurt others with my choices. Can anyone suggest anything that can help us out of this circumstance.

Thank you for listening

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In response to: Living with an elderly person that is drowning in depression and drowning myself

Sophia1Senior Contributor04 Nov 2020, 9:25 pm AEDT

Re: Living with an elderly person that is drowning in depression and drowning myself

Hello Tyrone

I went back to your original post and was greatly moved by such kindness shown to you by these two men.

You shared a very special relationship with them both.

You mentioned also that you have your own mental health struggles.

They opened a door for you at that time to allow you a safe haven.

You became a family.

You worked hard to tackle the hoarding situation which is so common with mental health strugglers.

Grief is a powerful emotion and plays havoc with existing mental health symptoms.

You both sound as though you are completely depleted of energy.

Grief counselling is another area to explore.

Your local council or community centre might have information on what is available as support for local residents.

I do understand how you are left feeling that there is noone left to help.

I have felt that way myself when I moved into a small country town in the hills.

Life changed dramatically involving one of my family members and I felt like you do.

I have persevered and pushed until I have found different organisations. Many not well advertised.

Please do not give up. When you have more energy start searching notice boards in shopping centres, supermarkets, take away shops. Read local papers.

There are people out there who genuinely want to help.

Also look at volunteering. That opens up a whole range of what is out there.

A new journey is beginning which will open up new doors. Be open to change happening and you will start to notice a different type of life,

Keep on writing to us as well.

You will find support from many on the forums.

Take care

Sophia

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