Living with an elderly person that is drowning in depression and drowning myself

@TyroneWelcome to the forums. There are many lovely helpful people floating about.

Grief is difficult, and you and T had different relationships with G. Protect your own space and sense of gratitude to the man you lost. Maybe keeping your own toom tidy could help. My brother lived with a hoarder and that was the way he had to survive, for as long as he did. A lot depends on the degree ...

There also may be a time to move on and support T from a distance if you feel you should.

If you find the forums helpful, hang around a bit before making hasty decisions. There may be other options, try and get yourself put on a public housing list, look around.

Take Care Apple

@Tyrone

I am so glad you their kindness found you back then❤

As for now, I would recommend getting in touch with Carer Gateway.

Carriageway.gov.au

1800422737

You might find there are organisations in your area that can help take some of that weight. Being a primary care giver is incredibly difficult, cut yourself some slack. You are both grieving and tjat will only be worsening your emotional state. I won't say you will get over it, you won't, but you will find it easier to cope in time.

Don't be afraid to seek help ❤ it is there if you have the courage to reach out for it.

Tag me anytime, if I can help I will.

Thank You for your kind words.

Our biggest issue is we dont know who to contact and we cant deal with supposed mental health organisations sending automated responses we dont how to get out of our current circumstance it seems like Australia doesnt have any way to help us. As i said as a header were both drowning and if one of doesnt find air soon i dunno what will happen. Leaving Trevor is something i dont want to do its something i have to do. Issue is Trevor is so dependant on me im just not capable mentally to be of any help to myself let alone him

Thanks

Tyrone

@Tyrone

Can you tell me what state you are in? I might know some people who can assist. The public mental health sector can be.... difficult to navigate.

Victoria

@Tyrone have you tried

https://services.dhhs.vic.gov.au/respite-support-information

Hi Mate

Sorry Trevor is 70 too old for this scheme thanks anyways

@Tyrone honestly then try Carers Gateway. They are your most likely source of information for assistance, there may be something they can offer for aged assistance

Hello Tyrone,

I came across this post by accident, as is so often the case.

I find myself wanting to respond as I feel the writer shows such courage.

I realise that this might have been very hard for you to reach out and write your story on here.

The life you left behind and then inherited might or might not have provided you with some comfort.

The loss of your friend who helped you from the start would have been very hard for you to experience.

Carers organisations support those being cared for under the age of 65.

Do you have a regular gp or counsellor, social worker, someone who has provided effective assistance in the past?

I also understand the attachment that would have formed over the time that you have been there with Trevor.

This would also perhaps bring about feelings of grief, obligation, as you are entitled to move forward and create a quality of life for you. You are important in this whole equation. You have been there for these two amazing people who took you in.

You might also try ringing the sane telephone no for assistance pointing you in the right direction.

Please realise that you have given much to these two people and need feel no guilt.

Also, something that I had to learn myself, reaching out for help for ourselves takes courage and strength.

Posting on these forums your experience and grief shows great strength.

You have this strength that will allow you to move forward in life and be prepared.

I do wish you all the best.

Sophia