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BPD Partner - my jealously

Luca33Casual Contributor29 Oct 2020, 12:53 pm AEDT

BPD Partner - my jealously

Hi,

I'm in a relationship with someone who is diagnosed with BPD. (4 months together).

my partner casually told me about her diagnosis a few months ago and I had no idea about it what it was.

I noticed fairly early on that things weren't quite right (or like other relationships I have had in the past).

I have done ALOT of reading and things seem to makes sense and resonate to what I am experiencing and feeling in this relationship.

Lately I am finding two things extremely difficult to deal with in the relationship:

Number one:

trying to relay to her how she speaks to me. She can be quite mean in tone and has no idea how she is coming across. I have tried to stand my ground but with no positive outcome. Leads to arguments and so forth.

Number two: I am feeling a bit jealous. It seems that her relationship with friends (male/female) appears to be "normal" and I get the absolute worst from her personality. I feel like I'm not worth much in her life and overthink her other relationships. Basically a broken compass, not sure if she really loves or hates me.

She has a lot of male/female friends and is quite social.

We have had some good talks and I get a glimpse of how she feels (cares about me, chose me to be her partner because of my good qualities).

I still feel a bit uneasy though.

It hurts that she can have a good laugh with her friends and I get the "bad" side.

wondering if anyone has any insight on these issues?

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In response to: BPD Partner - my jealously

Luca33Casual Contributor11 Nov 2020, 4:35 pm AEDT

Re: BPD Partner - my jealously

Thankyou for your kind words,

applogies if my last message was a mess of statements and questions haha.

Friends and family have been very supportive. I don't have a big network of close friends but the people in my life who I admire and care for have been helpful.

There was no real trust from my ex, and it's interesting how that ultimately resulted in me not really trusting her.

I remember telling myself at the beginning of the relationship to make sure I trust and not be the jelous boyfriend.

I got very little of that in return and ultimately I was a bit frightened of her reactions so I tried to vet the things I said.

I felt like I was in a movie at times. Almost like she was anticipating every stage and waiting for failure.

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