Random Acts Of Kindness - Community Challenge

dear @Appleblossom

Has anyone noticed ive worked out how to change the font sizes? next work for me is how to change the colour of the font.

Ive thought that i should keep dangerous people out of my home. I got a piece of paper with my Psychotherapist and worked out from room to room who would i trust in my home.

Starting with kitchen/ living area

Lounge room

Public toilet

Bedrooms

my bedroom

My private ensuite bathroom.

It was interesting to say the least! Ille look at the boundry thing tonight @NikNik

In 2003, my Dad diddled me out ofmy home and was pushing me into having a relationship with a dangerous man.

But idunno how to write this without sheer incredulation ( is that the right word ..@Appleblossom?

That i doggedly saw my Psychotherapist 3 times per week. As you can imagine, i was a little ' neurotic,' to say the least. A little self involved. ..........Some bad things happened and.....i kept on seeing her. My shame was right up there.

I got through it.

I dont know how to write this without sounding like some spiritual transferred book bashing silly billy convert ....but i survived. I didnt win an academy award or an Australian award but i lived.

Ive been struggling with my thoughts though.......you know........how did that happen to me.....

.I cant remember what.....oh thats right......sorting through the stalker......in that im visiting my old Psychotherapist on Thursday just to make sure that all these memories are correct.

i

Random acts of kindness that i do offten is

I hold doors open for people too ha, its a funny thing- isnt it?

I smile at people... but i dont know if this is a kindness haha, or just weirding people out.

@Baboo your random act of kindness just reminded me of an embarrasing moment with my lil girl when she was about 3. A kind gentleman held a door open for us as we walked out of the bank. He coughed just as we were walking past and my lil girl suddenly exclaimed 'he didnt cover his mouth mummy!' pointing right at him! I quietly said to her its ok dont worry but for the next 20 feet down the street she kept exclaiming it over again! Im wondering if its a RAOK he's ever done again lol! oops!

LJ

Oh.....i forgot about your message @Appleblossom

Yeah, sounds good to ban yourdaughter.

It feels like shes got a habit happening with you that can be broken but shes gotta do it.

How are you, @Appleblossom ?

I am ok but a bit sad from reading the stories on this site. So many people are struggling.

I haven't banned my daughters. @PeppiPatty great font size .. by the way

I did ask the oldest to stay in the car ONCE. I was sick of her sailing in behind her dad with the motor mouth going. She has not been back since. I had weekend access with her as ex-stepmom to keep relationship going and tried to get her back to school etc., without me driving her to school within the marriage she stopped going. She was 16 when I left, big enough to get there herself I did not have total responsibility for her existence and my biological kids had suffered enough with my obligation to her.

I asked her once not to pull out the chair from behind me. She knew I had spinal issues. Ha ha just a joke.

She may never change her habits. She has been indulged by dad to ridicule both mothers. She is derogative about her biological mother too, but that lady only had access which was mostly supervised. My oldest has a little thinking and growing up to do. She can be creative but likes easy money. Her biological mother still calls me over 10 years after I ceased being primary care giver to get a sense of link to her biological daughter. I had to put boundaries against her too. Please dont call me too often. I know you hear voices but etc etc.

The part of me that is the REAL mum who cared her from 6 weeks to 16 years and had dreams for her is tucked away, the key has not been thrown away, but she will have to convince me she is genuine. We were all worried her system had been flushed with anti-psychotics in utero, so I tried to give her a strong sense of self .. I did much too good a job of that. None of my kids are into drinking or drugs and I am proud of that, but wish she had more conscience.

Caring for her was a community service, though far from perfect, and not random. Human Services were scared shitless of the Supreme Court Case and dropped us like a bundle. They were supposed to faciliate, but were more concerned with their professional reputations than the baby or me, the actual carer. I stuck with the bundle for 16 years .. more than the social workers or legal eagles.

My biological daughter had a tough job as she struggled with loyalty to me and bonding with her half sister.

My problem is sorting what is and is not dangerous.

@PeppiPatty

So your dad had his own reasons for wanting you with a particular man .. sounds a bit like arranged marriages... Glad you did not get swayed.

I will consider access to different rooms. Thank you

Hi @Appleblossom

Im about to go to sleep but it was nice getting your message.

Yes, my Dad or ....my dad from mums second marriage.

As Im no councellor......

And without putting myself down....i m ....just another 47 year old.......

But ive beenbecoming more ' healthily introspective and writing my clear thoughts on this wonderful site.

And thinking about your daughter but it feels like............only unless theres some type of intellectual ummmmm.........

Few days or.....an intellectual coming to town, what would she say if you invited to her to it ?

You could then..i dunno say......ive always been proud of you but how i say it probably doesnt suit our personalities and......i just wanna say .....i am very proud of you.

Now lets move oN and ..... hear this intellectual!

Dunno if its age or..my psydo intellectualism but......ive found myself very tired and sad lately. It may be because ive had so muxh on my plate or.......im picking up on my neighbour who is grieving......

That is a great definition @NikNik

@PeppiPatty

So you know some of the extra stresses blended or step families face.

I had an editor email yesterday and am having my first few poems included in an anthology YAY .. little dance emoticon.

Caring for your grieving neighbour is caring for community. So maybe depression is a little bit catchy but if we develop skills around it, we empathise, are clear about our inner and outer world, recognise our value and the other, then it does not need to destroy us.

I do not mean to minimise the suffering of depression. That can be the problem with chatty posts. When I was in late 20s I was prescribed antidepressants .. my psychiatrist wrote severe on the script and made a point of saying it. He had not actually told me a diagnosis before that. As he knew we were getting hubbie off meds and I said I was breast feeding he agreed to me not taking them. I only started taking meds when I was 40 and decided to leave marriage. I had a very severe depression (reactive grief compounded with childhood neglect and tricky marriage) for such a long part of my life. It is joy to be able to ramble on a bit in a cheerful manner. My feelings have been more labile in the last 7 years and I value that as being a musician I cant be too drugged.

Hope you are all doing ok.