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Something’s not right

Need to vent

Need to vent

Hi everyone

I need to vent!!

I'm not coping

I'm not enjoying my new job. It's mundane, boring and triggering. For those who don't know, I was made redundant in my pharmacy job 4 days before Christmas. I then found a casual job at a supermarket. The job I do is very boring. I have far too much 'alone' time at work so my mind wanders to a lot of stuff. I asked my supervisor if i could learn the registers as thats what i would love to do. she replied that she couldn't until next year, don't know why as we are so short staffed and they need extras.

They advertise extra shifts or replacing a shift on facebook, which i really hate. but that's how they do it. i asked my supervisor if i could pick up extra shifts even though i don't know the registers. she replied yes thats fine that i would still do cleaning.

The other day a staff member posted she needed someone to do a shift. i was the first one tyo reply and accept the shift. another girl replied after me. the staff member replied back to me saying she would give that shift to the second girl as i don't know tyhe registers. I was so annoyed, angry and then upset. I feel used, and discriminated.

The problem is I am 'too scared' to confront my supervisor and ask again as i don't want the other member to get into gtrouble. so this means that i can't get any extra shifts until i learn the registers.

it is so wrong

the other issue i am having is seeing the old pharmacy customers. it's not an issue in that i see them, they love to talk. some still didn't know i had gone!!! but each time i see them and they say 'oh i am sorry to what happened to you' i get upset, hurt angry at the new owners. i miss the girls i used to work with and the job.

working for a much much bigger organisation is hard. there is so much clicks, so much politics and crap. i try to go in and do my job and go home.

but with so much time on my hands at work i start to think negatively.

i have recentyly had terrible vertigo, a 5 day migraine and today again another headache. i decided to call in sick and was spoken to so rude and short by the supervisor. it's like she doesn't believe me when i call in sick. and my anxiety is extremely high in having to ring her.

i don't have the confidence to leave and get another job. i feel i am not good enough

i am sorry to vent, i know a lot of you are struggling with your own issues. and that i should be thankful that i do have a job, as a lot of people have lost theirs.

4898 replies

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In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

That sounds brilliant @BlueBay - it makes a huge difference when we make up our own mind about things - it sets us free - the baskets have to be cleaned and it's important right now that they are sanitised - no matter how menial a task is it is often vital - and smiling while you work gives you a boost and there you are - the customers are talking to you and I am so glad to hear that

Yes - there is a lot of information about BPD on the internet and the more you read the more you know and the more you know the more empowered you are - it puts you in charge of the condition. I am thrilled to bits to read this post

And yes - when you are ready look for your chance to get back into admin - we never really know what we will get into when we go for a new job - everyone has had the experience and the more jobs you have in your life-time the more first days there will be and it's okay - I did a lot of first days when I did temporary work - sometimes it was great and sometimes it was less than great but it was always interesting and I certainly wish you the best with that

My shoulder is gradually improving - I have more movement but it is limited and this is the status quo for arthritic joints in a body that really enjoyed sport and exercise - injuries happen - and I also know I would do it all again - so this is my chosen attitude - and we can choose that too

My daughter is recovering too - she has more pain - she has screws in her hips - orthopaedic surgery is more painful than soft tissue surgery and it takes time - she is planning on recovering by Christmas - I hope we can have a Christmas this year

Enjoy your holiday - my guess is you are going somewhere in the State so this is a good thing - I am looking forward to going away inside the State myself but I need my shoulder to be better than it is right now to manage my luggage - I am glad I got a smaller suitcase - I can do my laundry wherever I go.

Great post BlueBay

Dec

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hug my @BlueBay

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

❤️ @BlueBay

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Thanks @Owlunar for your encouragement and support

my body is very sore

my legs

hips have bursitis in both now

my neck

my back

had trouble sleeping last night

@Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51 @MDT @Maggie @Emelia8

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay 😔💖🌸

I'm sorry I dont have a lot of words right now, and not a lot to give. But I do want you to know I am listening and I'm hearing you.

Emelia 🤗💓

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

I'm just sick of being in pain and doctors keep saying "oh you'll be fine"

I'm not fine

everything hurts

or they say it's psycho somatic (don't even know what that means)

thanks @Emelia8 ive been thinking of you. Hope you're ok xxx

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

hey @BlueBay thats a really difficult place to be. and being in pain and not being able to sleep can amplify the pain even more. im hearing you.

have you been to a rhuematologist? my gp referred me to one a few years ago and gave me some answers to why i am in constant pain.

thinking of you and hoping that you can get some rest and relief today.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi @BlueBay

It's tough when we have psychosomatic disorders and people - including doctors - don't always understand - and the pain we have is just as real and needs treatment - and it is a puzzle

Psychosomatic disorders are caused by stress - but not everything is caused by stress but it is a tricky field to address because the cause isn't easy to define sometimes

Eg - you have a stomach ulcer that is most likely caused by stress - but it needs treatment -

And high blood pressure is caused by many things including stress but still needs treatment

Perhaps you will be fine if you have medication to treat things but you don't feel fine - I understand. It must be so frustrating to have the doctors keep telling you this.

I hear you - I understand - I am sure your GP cares a lot and understands a lot but they have their hands tied when it comes to prescribing pain killing medication.

Sending my best thoughts

Dec

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi everyone

I saw my doctor this morning and asked him if he believed me when I say I'm in pain

he said definitely yes he believes me.

I decided to not go to group today. Spending the day at the beach with my daughter and littke A.
tiday is one year anniversary of mother in law passing. It's bringing mixed emotions today.
ive also decided to stop group from end of this year. I need a break from always talking about mentsl health. My doc agrees

I better go. It's got windy all of a sudden and umbrella is loose.
bavk later !!
@Owlunar @Bow @Emelia8 @Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51 @MDT @Maggie

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Somethings happened just now and I don't want to live anymore

I'm a horrible person who deserves bad things

I'm going

Msybe I'm not meant to be here snymire

it's all over

I screw thinfs up

I hate me

I hate ME

😡😢

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