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Something’s not right

Need to vent

Need to vent

Hi everyone

I need to vent!!

I'm not coping

I'm not enjoying my new job. It's mundane, boring and triggering. For those who don't know, I was made redundant in my pharmacy job 4 days before Christmas. I then found a casual job at a supermarket. The job I do is very boring. I have far too much 'alone' time at work so my mind wanders to a lot of stuff. I asked my supervisor if i could learn the registers as thats what i would love to do. she replied that she couldn't until next year, don't know why as we are so short staffed and they need extras.

They advertise extra shifts or replacing a shift on facebook, which i really hate. but that's how they do it. i asked my supervisor if i could pick up extra shifts even though i don't know the registers. she replied yes thats fine that i would still do cleaning.

The other day a staff member posted she needed someone to do a shift. i was the first one tyo reply and accept the shift. another girl replied after me. the staff member replied back to me saying she would give that shift to the second girl as i don't know tyhe registers. I was so annoyed, angry and then upset. I feel used, and discriminated.

The problem is I am 'too scared' to confront my supervisor and ask again as i don't want the other member to get into gtrouble. so this means that i can't get any extra shifts until i learn the registers.

it is so wrong

the other issue i am having is seeing the old pharmacy customers. it's not an issue in that i see them, they love to talk. some still didn't know i had gone!!! but each time i see them and they say 'oh i am sorry to what happened to you' i get upset, hurt angry at the new owners. i miss the girls i used to work with and the job.

working for a much much bigger organisation is hard. there is so much clicks, so much politics and crap. i try to go in and do my job and go home.

but with so much time on my hands at work i start to think negatively.

i have recentyly had terrible vertigo, a 5 day migraine and today again another headache. i decided to call in sick and was spoken to so rude and short by the supervisor. it's like she doesn't believe me when i call in sick. and my anxiety is extremely high in having to ring her.

i don't have the confidence to leave and get another job. i feel i am not good enough

i am sorry to vent, i know a lot of you are struggling with your own issues. and that i should be thankful that i do have a job, as a lot of people have lost theirs.

4898 replies

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In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Sending lots of support for you @BlueBay 💐I'm sorry to hear it sounds like its been an emotionally intense time. I'm very glad to hear, though, that you'll be taking a few weeks off for rest and recovery.

I hope you've got some ideas for things you can do today to take care of yourself? 💞

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

thanks for your reply and support @Former-Member @Emelia8

i am hurting because a mum should not do this to her own children

i feel i am excluded from family things; i feel like i am the cause of all this

it's not MY fault i was sexually abused as a child

i am needing a break to rest but not really sure what to do @Former-Member

a walk down the beach

sit and coffee at the beach

play with my 3yr old granddaughter

apart from that i have no other things -

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

I can't live like this anymore

I don't know Whst to do

we have no money

panic desperation has set in

there's no living

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hearing you and sitting with you @BlueBay

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

My life is over

it's all too much

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay You've done well to reach out for support today but I can hear things are really tough at the moment

It sounds like perhaps it would be helpful to talk things out with a counsellor? As a reminder, you can reach out to the following services for one to one support:

Lifeline 13 11 14

Suicide Callback Service 1300 659 467

SANE Help Centre: 1800 18 7263

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Dear @BlueBay ... you sound like you are panicking. Can you do me a favour? Sit down with a nice cuppa ... take a few calming breaths ... and let your mind concentrate on all the good things you have in your life. Your life is not over ... you have so much to live for and so much living still to do. I know things are really hard right now ... but its definitely not time to give up BB. Think of your loving husband, children and grandchild. Think of all the things you enjoy in life ... a trip to the coffee shop, a walk on the beach, a greeting from Jersey, a weekend trip away, time spent with delightful little A. These are all great things BlueBay, and I'm sure you have many other things you can think of. Life is worth fighting for BB ... so do all the fighting you can muster. If that means calling a help centre .. then do it. Stay safe.

Emelia 💞

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi @BlueBay

It really breaks my heart that you are in another state of panic and your life is passing with so little joy. There are things in life we can't change and to be happy we simply must accept them - and also - things we can change and we need to gather our resources and act - and as the prayer goes - learn to know the difference

From what I immediately gathered was that you have run into this sudden bad patch after your mother threw her dish-water over you yesterday. I can't understand why you keep after her - there is nothing to be gained - she can't seem to help herself and it's not your fault that she is the way she is. And I know - I truly do - I would walk away from my mother and stay away for years - and it is really hard - I know this - but it's the only way to you to have some peace - some control over the situation - even some degree of happiness with what you do have in your life.

I wish better for you - and your life is not over - I have shadows in my own past and they are there - they are the truth - and I know there is nothing I can do to change anything in the past

I saw my mother's regret just before she died and I would not want that for myself and I won't - and I don't want it for you either but you have to think hard and draw some conclusions for yourself to find a better way.

I want that for you so badly. Live for your family and take advantage of the beach so near to you.

And take advantage of this time when you can't work because of your health - you need to recover from the stress of the last fews weeks and this is your chance.

I do wish you the best

Dec

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@Owlunar @Emelia8 @Jupiter @Former-Member @BPDSurvivor @Shaz51
I'm panicking because our savings our money is getting very very low. Desperately low. I'm went into terrible panic. Eg. How do we cope. How do we live?

I broke down eith hubby and he is now taking tomorrow and Friday off work. I think he's worried. He told me he gets paid tonight which I completely forgot.

Reg my mum - I'm not letting her get to me snymire. I've been treated like crap all the time. She acts out she's a caring mum when I'm in hodpital. She has def something wrong with her.

i know deep down I am grateful for all my children hubby and little A.

I've hit the panic button. I will reach out tonight to online Sane counsellor.

I need to calm down. I'm getting so stressed that my stomach has been terrible.


In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi @BlueBay

Yes - you really need to take it easy emotionally to give your digestive system a chance to recover - I did read up on viseral hypersensity and it is real condition and stress makes it worse

I am hoping you can get sickness benefits - you deserve this - have you asked any of your doctors if they will help you apply - this will help you I am sure

And yes - keep away from your mother - she definitely has something wrong with her emotionally - ringing her up will only feed that in her - and I know how hard it is to keep away - but worth it

Today I was expecting my gardener and he finally came - the garden didn't need much work this time - just a tidy up and trim - it makes a huge difference having him come every few weeks seeing as I can't do it any more and neither can my daughter.

Take a bit of a walk before it gets dark - I used to walk to the beach often in the past - not recently - I used to live near the beach and loved to go there in the evenings - when no one was about. It's a very special time and place

Take it easy tonight - and you will find it hard to keep away from your mother but there is only more sorrow there for you

Dec

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