Need to vent

I stayed home @BlueBay awaiting a covid result.

Sorry little A is unwell and hope she picks up soon.

I grew those roses a while ago so I’m glad they are still bringing pleasure.

@Eve7
I hope your results are negative snd you start to feel better soon xxoo

Thanks @BlueBay

Negative results all round yesterday morning @BlueBay

Hi my friends @Eve7 @MDT @Emelia8 @Shaz51 @Owlunar @BPDSurvivor and others reading

This morning I went to my clinic where another GP was on. He did all the obs and they were all good, but my stomach is still a bit painful. I now have to take less Movicol to see how things go; but he said this is going to be very tricky for me. Because I am fructose malabsorption and lactose intolerant which cause the same symptoms. I am not sure now if my colon is cleared or not. I said to this GP that i am confused as to what to do. He said to see how I go and if in the next week I am no better with pain to contact my regular GP (which i am seeing on Tuesday) or contact my gastroenterologist on tuesday. Or if pain is worse over long weekend go straight to ED. He said he doesn't like to do too many CT scans through your body just because to see if the colon is cleared out or not. So how am I meant to know???

Anyway, my daughter and little A left last night. They (her new partner and kids) went awasy for Easter to his extended family (6 hour drive from home) for the long weekend. Little A was sooo excited to 'go on holidays'. They left at 3.30am this morning so as to just pick up the sleeping girls and drive off. And also no traffic on the roads.

He is a very organised guy.

So it is very quiet at home (which is nice) - but I do miss little A. I don't know, i have craved peace and quiet for such a long time, just to be on my own; and now here I am - and I miss her 😞

Older son is working night shift tonight and younger son has just gone out to a club with his mates. Hubby is driving him there and possibly have to pick him and his mates up tonight. Public transport is not great where we live; but sometime the boys do get an uber to come home.

When hubby comes home soon, we'll prob go down the beach just to sit for a while. Tomorrow it's lunch just for the four of us. I called my mum yesterday to go today - but - she was 'busy'. So i'm not going tomorrow, she can wait until next week to see me; unless I go during the week. It really annoys me; I feel so left out of the family. She had my other sister yesterday for lunch. But i get 'forgotten' all the time.

It's our 35 wedding anniversary in May and I was trying to organise 2 nights away, somewhere nice but not too expensive, as our money is non existent. I was hoping that the kids may help out so we can get away. I'll see if we can pay for accommodation in instalments.

Has anyone been to the Grampians? @Owlunar have you??

We have never been so i was thinking of going there. I really would love to go to Qld but it's too costly for us at the momewnt and with COVID, not sure if that's a good idea. And also i would like to support our regional Victoria.

Every sunday hubby and I have been going out on our own. Unfortunately hubby had organised somewhere last Sunday but i ended up in ED. It was a nice place too. Will go the following sunday. I think this is a good idea to reconnect again, just us two. And I suggested we take it in turns to chose a destination each week. That way it's not just me doing all the arranging of where to go. He needs to do his bit too!!!

Anyway I better go, I hope everyone is doing ok. enjoy your Easter Sunday tomorrow. For me it will be a lamb roast in the oven, a walk down the beach in the morning and a late lunch once the boys wake up.

take care everyone

That is good news my friend @Eve7

I am so glad for you

take care xxxooo

Hey @BlueBay ,

Sounds lovely. So much happening in your life. I went to the Grampians recently.... I'd say about a month or two ago. It was lovely. I just love nature, so it was great to just be able to sit out there and enjoy it.

Hope you get to get out for your anniversary!

BPDSurvivor

I think I'll book Grampians @BPDSurvivor

can I ask you something about BPD? Do you ever get jealous of others? I have a few friends that have everything - amazing homes, no adult kids at home, they go on holidays all the time and they don't work full time. I shouldn't feel jealous but I do.

Hey @BlueBay ,

Yes, I used to get jealous of others, but I don't anymore.

I do believe the jealousy stemmed from my BPD. At a time when I was so unstable and had little understanding of my own identity, I was easily moved by things/people around me. Now, having more of an identity and understanding of human behaviour, I don't find myself being jealous of people at all. I think it is the shift in my ability to self-regulate that I am no more defined by people around me, or the situations in my environment.

I didn't wake up one day and magically have these skills. It's been a long process of getting out of my comfort zone to practise these skills. With this comes plenty of falls, bumps and bruises.

I guess I no longer wanted a life dictated by my surroundings. Hence the hard work was worth it.

BPDSurvivor

sending you lots of tender hugs my sister @BlueBay

thinking of you tonight and tomorrow xoxo