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Something’s not right

Need to vent

Need to vent

Hi everyone

I need to vent!!

I'm not coping

I'm not enjoying my new job. It's mundane, boring and triggering. For those who don't know, I was made redundant in my pharmacy job 4 days before Christmas. I then found a casual job at a supermarket. The job I do is very boring. I have far too much 'alone' time at work so my mind wanders to a lot of stuff. I asked my supervisor if i could learn the registers as thats what i would love to do. she replied that she couldn't until next year, don't know why as we are so short staffed and they need extras.

They advertise extra shifts or replacing a shift on facebook, which i really hate. but that's how they do it. i asked my supervisor if i could pick up extra shifts even though i don't know the registers. she replied yes thats fine that i would still do cleaning.

The other day a staff member posted she needed someone to do a shift. i was the first one tyo reply and accept the shift. another girl replied after me. the staff member replied back to me saying she would give that shift to the second girl as i don't know tyhe registers. I was so annoyed, angry and then upset. I feel used, and discriminated.

The problem is I am 'too scared' to confront my supervisor and ask again as i don't want the other member to get into gtrouble. so this means that i can't get any extra shifts until i learn the registers.

it is so wrong

the other issue i am having is seeing the old pharmacy customers. it's not an issue in that i see them, they love to talk. some still didn't know i had gone!!! but each time i see them and they say 'oh i am sorry to what happened to you' i get upset, hurt angry at the new owners. i miss the girls i used to work with and the job.

working for a much much bigger organisation is hard. there is so much clicks, so much politics and crap. i try to go in and do my job and go home.

but with so much time on my hands at work i start to think negatively.

i have recentyly had terrible vertigo, a 5 day migraine and today again another headache. i decided to call in sick and was spoken to so rude and short by the supervisor. it's like she doesn't believe me when i call in sick. and my anxiety is extremely high in having to ring her.

i don't have the confidence to leave and get another job. i feel i am not good enough

i am sorry to vent, i know a lot of you are struggling with your own issues. and that i should be thankful that i do have a job, as a lot of people have lost theirs.

4898 replies

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In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

i am going to bed

i need to be alone

but thank you so much for your support

i just don't feel i will ever get anywhere in life

@tyme

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

😥😢

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

You are stronger than you think @BlueBay - it is hard at this time, but it won't always be like that. Little A will light a wonderful smile on your face knowing you can just hug her and she trusts so utterly.

My sincere hugs to you because I care.

I catch you tomorrow.

In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hey there @BlueBay

Sorry I missed your post yesterday, but I just wanted to check in on how you are going today? I see that you were feeling a bit angry yesterday and were a bit triggered. I hope that you were able to do something nice for yourself yesterday. Let me know how you're feeling today when you're online ❤️

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi everyone

@amber22 @tyme @Snowie @Shaz51 @FloatingFeather @Emelia8 and others

this morning I was awake at 4.30am and couldn’t go back to sleep. Thinking of so much. I went for a beach walk at 8am then grocery shopping.
i had an appt to see my dr this afternoon. Feeling very anxious and not well physically.
I told him my mental health had deteriorated. He asked how because he saw me yesterday and I was ok. He asked if something happened. I told him yes, no, don’t worry. But I was shaking and crying.
i then told him that hubby weighs less than me. I am the biggest in our family. And explained that last night I wanted to self harm, run away, eat excessively to which I did. it was instant hate for myself last night. I was very angry.
he was listening and saying to me that I have to stop beating myself up. And that I’m scared to start using a gym n fear of not losing weight. He told me to not even think of the weight but rather a health benefit. I sat and cried. He said he is here to go on this journey with me. He will help me. I am seeing a new psychologist next week. My dr referred me to her as he knows her quite well and he feels she’s a good fit for me.

he said he feels I have grown in the last 12 months.
he wants to see me Monday morning.
Just to check in.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay

I'm glad your gp listened to you. He sounds like a really caring person.

I hope by speaking to him that it helped even just a little.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hey @BlueBay ,

Hope today is slightly better for you 🙂

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hello my @BlueBay , sending you hugs

❤️❤️

Hello @tyme , @Snowie , @amber22 , @FloatingFeather

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Thanks so much @Shaz51 @tyme @Snowie

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

hi @Shaz51 @tyme @Snowie @amber22 @FloatingFeather @Emelia8 @BPDSurvivor and others i have missed

well today is a better day. I was awake at 5am, got out of bed at 6am and had a coffee. Decided it was time to get dressed and go out for a walk while it was still cool. I walked at 6.50am for 40 mins listening to some music. Came home and felt really good that i had done my walk already.

Went down the street, had to go to Centrelink (painful), then go and buy some fresh fruit and veggies. Always feel good when i come home and put all the fresh goodness away. Makes me feel healthy.

I may go down the pool after and use the hydro pool for my back. Even if i stay 30 mins it will be good to do some stretches.

I am feeling okay today, achieved some goals this week: - walked every day for 30 mins. And i also took all my meds. I actually look forward to going every morning.

Together with healthy eating I hope to get fitter physically and mentally. I have to learn to not be so hard on myself if i do miss a day of walking and not punish myself (s/h or eating).

I know i am very lucky to have amazing support from my GP, psych and seeing a new psychologist next week. Looking forward to that.

I hope you all have a nice day today or as best can be. thinking of you all.

take care xxxxxxooooo

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