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Something’s not right

Need to vent

Need to vent

Hi everyone

I need to vent!!

I'm not coping

I'm not enjoying my new job. It's mundane, boring and triggering. For those who don't know, I was made redundant in my pharmacy job 4 days before Christmas. I then found a casual job at a supermarket. The job I do is very boring. I have far too much 'alone' time at work so my mind wanders to a lot of stuff. I asked my supervisor if i could learn the registers as thats what i would love to do. she replied that she couldn't until next year, don't know why as we are so short staffed and they need extras.

They advertise extra shifts or replacing a shift on facebook, which i really hate. but that's how they do it. i asked my supervisor if i could pick up extra shifts even though i don't know the registers. she replied yes thats fine that i would still do cleaning.

The other day a staff member posted she needed someone to do a shift. i was the first one tyo reply and accept the shift. another girl replied after me. the staff member replied back to me saying she would give that shift to the second girl as i don't know tyhe registers. I was so annoyed, angry and then upset. I feel used, and discriminated.

The problem is I am 'too scared' to confront my supervisor and ask again as i don't want the other member to get into gtrouble. so this means that i can't get any extra shifts until i learn the registers.

it is so wrong

the other issue i am having is seeing the old pharmacy customers. it's not an issue in that i see them, they love to talk. some still didn't know i had gone!!! but each time i see them and they say 'oh i am sorry to what happened to you' i get upset, hurt angry at the new owners. i miss the girls i used to work with and the job.

working for a much much bigger organisation is hard. there is so much clicks, so much politics and crap. i try to go in and do my job and go home.

but with so much time on my hands at work i start to think negatively.

i have recentyly had terrible vertigo, a 5 day migraine and today again another headache. i decided to call in sick and was spoken to so rude and short by the supervisor. it's like she doesn't believe me when i call in sick. and my anxiety is extremely high in having to ring her.

i don't have the confidence to leave and get another job. i feel i am not good enough

i am sorry to vent, i know a lot of you are struggling with your own issues. and that i should be thankful that i do have a job, as a lot of people have lost theirs.

4898 replies

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In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

wow this sounds exciting @BPDSurvivor

to be a lived speaker for the BPD awareness week. that's in October isn't it?

it must be difficult when the school spring on you at short notice another class.

we are having pizza for dinner; my older son has gone out with his mates and one is staying over the night. thankfully i now have a spare bed but i better not tell little A as she will be annoyed that someone else is staying in 'her' bed. she has taken over the bedroom from my younger son who is overseas.

you know, buying a house is such a huge commitment, scary and overwhelming. yes, i hate moving, packing and the only good thing is getting rid of rubbish you don't need. but we did that when we last moved 5 yrs ago. we did a HUGE clean out. so we really don't have much of inside stuff to get rid of maybe the garage does. but i am leaving that up to hubby.

hi everyone, hope you all had a nice day @tyme @FloatingFeather @Snowie @Emelia8 @hanami @Shaz51 and others following on

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Yes, BPD Awareness week is in Oct @BlueBay , but there’s a lot of planning beforehand.

As for pizza tonight. I’m hungry but tonight, I’ve just flopped into bed. I’ll get up and have something later.

I like how Little A says it’s ‘her’ bed. So cute. I feel like giving her a big squeeze!

I didn’t realise you moved 5 years ago! Then that’s less rubbish to throw out then. Phew! Sometimes we don’t know how much we accumulate until it’s time to move!

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi @BPDSurvivor

yeah we’ve only been in this for 5 years and we got rid of a lot of stuff then.

so they’re prob won’t be a lot this time.

@tyme @FloatingFeather @Snowie @Emelia8 @Shaz51 and others

we went to my parents this morning.
it was nice to see dad. Mum on the other hand was a bit cold. Only dad asked about the kids and son overseas. I started to show photos of where they’ve been and when a photo of Germany came up she replies oh I move seen Germany on tv before. Didn’t even look at photos.

My dad was more interested in seeing and talking to us than her.
but no mention of littke A at all which really hurts.

I gave her a birthday present snd a present for dad for Father’s Day next week.
then she comes out with a bag with coffee and chocolates for my birthday.
she forgot to call me but gave me something. Strange. But I accepted it.

she doesn’t show any interest in my life. Didn’t ask about selling moving snd where we will live. Not one question.
the phone rang and it was my younger sister (who I don’t see). Mum tells her that I’m there. She hangs up and turns to dad and says oh she rang to check on us to see if we’re ok. She had to make a dig at me because I don’t ring daily.

when we left dad said to me “it was nice to see you” and I said the same. Mum just said bye. Strange.

anyway I did what I had to do.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

not feeling good today 😞

saw my dr this morning. he isn't surprised that i had no memory of emailing someone as i was very stressed. he said the stress contributed to the migraine which then lead to severe high blood pressure.

we now have a migraine plan of what to take and when.

but today - i don't feel good at all. my BP was extrememly high at the drs today. my dr has changed my meds for the BP. i think i should just rest today. but i have a psych appt this afternoon.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hey @BlueBay! I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling too well today 💛 It is probably a good idea to take it easy today, it sounds like your body is telling you it needs some rest!

I hope you can feel a little better soon 💌

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi @BlueBay

Glad to hear that you got to see your Dad hon. I am sure it was made harder with your mum their but at least you were able to see him.

I have emailed my psych before without remembering what I said. It is hard when we dissociate and do that.

I hope today goes well for you 💜💜

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Stressed to the MAX

I can’t do this anymore

house hunting is affecting

me

my life

my thiughts

ny mind

i do t know what to do

im panicking big time

I don’t know what to do

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hugs my sister @BlueBay

Soo glad you saw your dad and that he showed interest in your life, please hold on to that xoxo

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

I can’t think anymore

I’m frozen with fear

anxiety

dread

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi @BlueBay @Shaz51

Sitting with you hon. You are not alone 💕💕

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