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Need to vent

Need to vent

Hi everyone

I need to vent!!

I'm not coping

I'm not enjoying my new job. It's mundane, boring and triggering. For those who don't know, I was made redundant in my pharmacy job 4 days before Christmas. I then found a casual job at a supermarket. The job I do is very boring. I have far too much 'alone' time at work so my mind wanders to a lot of stuff. I asked my supervisor if i could learn the registers as thats what i would love to do. she replied that she couldn't until next year, don't know why as we are so short staffed and they need extras.

They advertise extra shifts or replacing a shift on facebook, which i really hate. but that's how they do it. i asked my supervisor if i could pick up extra shifts even though i don't know the registers. she replied yes thats fine that i would still do cleaning.

The other day a staff member posted she needed someone to do a shift. i was the first one tyo reply and accept the shift. another girl replied after me. the staff member replied back to me saying she would give that shift to the second girl as i don't know tyhe registers. I was so annoyed, angry and then upset. I feel used, and discriminated.

The problem is I am 'too scared' to confront my supervisor and ask again as i don't want the other member to get into gtrouble. so this means that i can't get any extra shifts until i learn the registers.

it is so wrong

the other issue i am having is seeing the old pharmacy customers. it's not an issue in that i see them, they love to talk. some still didn't know i had gone!!! but each time i see them and they say 'oh i am sorry to what happened to you' i get upset, hurt angry at the new owners. i miss the girls i used to work with and the job.

working for a much much bigger organisation is hard. there is so much clicks, so much politics and crap. i try to go in and do my job and go home.

but with so much time on my hands at work i start to think negatively.

i have recentyly had terrible vertigo, a 5 day migraine and today again another headache. i decided to call in sick and was spoken to so rude and short by the supervisor. it's like she doesn't believe me when i call in sick. and my anxiety is extremely high in having to ring her.

i don't have the confidence to leave and get another job. i feel i am not good enough

i am sorry to vent, i know a lot of you are struggling with your own issues. and that i should be thankful that i do have a job, as a lot of people have lost theirs.

4898 replies

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In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hey @BlueBay ,

I hope things go smoothly for you in terms of the property. It can be a bit of a headache.

As for the email - it seems like you are in survival mode. You are doing everything you can just to stay on top of things. Please take care of yourself. Do something that you like.

Hugs, tyme

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

thanks @tyme i am enjoying my crochet. started a new blanket i can sell. i learnt a new pattern online so thought I would give it a go.

I am now very aware of my stress and how unwell i get. i was very scared while in hospital.

i am also seeing my psych on monday afternoon, and i will tell her too.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hugs @BlueBay .

Our bodies get into another state when we are stressed.

Now it's about looking after yourself. Taking those deep breaths when you do feel stressed so that you can remain in control.

Thinking of you,

tyme

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Wow @BlueBay ! Seems like so much has happened since I was last on!

You sold your house, went house hunting, got a house, decided it wasn’t ‘the house’, going to see another house, finding yourself stressed out….

My, you are one strong person! I’m not sure many people can go through all those changes in such a short time frame.

Give yourself the credit. I miss you.

Also, I wonder where @Anastasia and @Owlunar are.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi @BPDSurvivor

thanks for your support.
i certainly don’t feel strong.

I know @Owlunar hasn’t been here for months and I miss her dearly.
not sure about @Anastasia but I hope she’s ok.

going now to look at a house.
mugraine is lingering.
just did a short walk in the cold brisk morning

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hey @BlueBay ,

How’d the house inspection go?

As with the migraine, do you think it is blood pressure and stress-related?

What else do you have planned for today?

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

The house we saw is beautiful

I could see myself living there

and it’s around the corner from our son when his townhouse is finished

it’s about 25 mins from my daughter.
we’re going to give sec 32 to our solicitor and then if all good look at it again with daughters partner and our an offer in.

yes I think my migraine is stress and that’s when my BP goes extremely high.
I’m trying meditation daily to help with stress.
hubby helped me pack some boxes today which made me feel good.
i was getting overwhelmed with everything we have to do.

called in to see my daughter and her partner chatted with hubby about this house we saw.

@BPDSurvivor

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

All the best @BlueBay !

It’s so good just to be able to fall in love with a house like that.

Fingers crossed with it all. When do you have to be out of the property you are currently in?

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BPDSurvivor our settlement is 28 November so plenty of time.

How are you? i bet you’ve been busy at work.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Yes, that is plenty of time @BlueBay - gives you time to pack and clear things. I hate moving house. So much work but I guess it’s a good time to get rid of stuff.

As for work, it’s been okay. It’s not a lot of work, the issue is that my days are so unpredictable. Sometimes i have 3 minutes notice to take an extra lesson. This is hard when I have my day planned out and things to do. I hope it gets better soon. I’m just hanging in there.

Hey, did I tell you that I’m attending a filming for BPD? It’s some health program that focuses on diagnosis, treatment, recovery etc. So they film each section then use it to help practitioners and families to understand BPD.

I’m also preparing myself mentally to take part in BPD Awareness Week as a lived experience speaker.

It’s going to be a busy two months coming up! I’ll let you know how it goes.

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