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Need to vent

Need to vent

Hi everyone

I need to vent!!

I'm not coping

I'm not enjoying my new job. It's mundane, boring and triggering. For those who don't know, I was made redundant in my pharmacy job 4 days before Christmas. I then found a casual job at a supermarket. The job I do is very boring. I have far too much 'alone' time at work so my mind wanders to a lot of stuff. I asked my supervisor if i could learn the registers as thats what i would love to do. she replied that she couldn't until next year, don't know why as we are so short staffed and they need extras.

They advertise extra shifts or replacing a shift on facebook, which i really hate. but that's how they do it. i asked my supervisor if i could pick up extra shifts even though i don't know the registers. she replied yes thats fine that i would still do cleaning.

The other day a staff member posted she needed someone to do a shift. i was the first one tyo reply and accept the shift. another girl replied after me. the staff member replied back to me saying she would give that shift to the second girl as i don't know tyhe registers. I was so annoyed, angry and then upset. I feel used, and discriminated.

The problem is I am 'too scared' to confront my supervisor and ask again as i don't want the other member to get into gtrouble. so this means that i can't get any extra shifts until i learn the registers.

it is so wrong

the other issue i am having is seeing the old pharmacy customers. it's not an issue in that i see them, they love to talk. some still didn't know i had gone!!! but each time i see them and they say 'oh i am sorry to what happened to you' i get upset, hurt angry at the new owners. i miss the girls i used to work with and the job.

working for a much much bigger organisation is hard. there is so much clicks, so much politics and crap. i try to go in and do my job and go home.

but with so much time on my hands at work i start to think negatively.

i have recentyly had terrible vertigo, a 5 day migraine and today again another headache. i decided to call in sick and was spoken to so rude and short by the supervisor. it's like she doesn't believe me when i call in sick. and my anxiety is extremely high in having to ring her.

i don't have the confidence to leave and get another job. i feel i am not good enough

i am sorry to vent, i know a lot of you are struggling with your own issues. and that i should be thankful that i do have a job, as a lot of people have lost theirs.

4898 replies

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In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@FloatingFeather @moderator

Saw my GP cried told him it’s best to self harm or worse

he reminded me of my family

told him I’m a burden to them

I’m punishing myself is what he told me

now got a migraine

i really don’t care

we have never been so low in our finances like right now

I can’t live like this

all I see is the amount of money in our account

disgusting ashamed embarrassed

he wants to see me again Thursday

what’s the point 😥😥😥

I can’t think

all I do is ruminate over and over and over

I want it to STOP forever

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi @BlueBay

So sorry things didn't go well with the doctor. It must be so awful to be having the feelings you're having right now. We are here for you but wanted to remind you of the crisis services that @FloatingFeather emailed to you this morning.

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or  Crisis Chat

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling

Samaritans: 135 247

If in immediate danger: 000

 

I'll also add again the resource on coping with thoughts of suicide. 

 

Keep reaching out to us and let us know you're safe.

Sending hugs and hoping these feelings ease soon.

Hanami ❤️

 

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

thanks @hanami

why do i bash myself up so much

i am so bad to myself

i am feeling angry with myself

i need to go away

my mind wants to just go away

i am so screwed up

i am a terrible person

i am not worthy of any help anymore

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

You aren’t a terrible person at all @BlueBay

I constantly battle with my thoughts. The way I try and control them is to say to myself, let it go and move on. 💖🤗

It wasn’t easy at first, but it definitely is getting easier the more I say it.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

thanks @Former-Member

it is so hard at the moment

my thoughts are really high (if that makes sense)

i am going for a walk with the dog

i need some fresh air

get out of my house

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

I understand @BlueBay

Good on you for going for a walk. 🤗

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi @BlueBay

I hope the walk helped a little

Hi @Former-Member hope your day has gone well

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

I wish. I try to be positive @Snowie How are you?

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Sounds like it hasn't been a great day @Former-Member

Have you been able to do something nice for yourself?

I wish I could say it has been going good but can't.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

And that's okay @Snowie . It's okay not to feel 'fine' or 'okay'.

I used to think that for my life to go well, things would always have to be 'good' or 'okay'. Along my journey, I've learnt that it's okay not to be okay. By nature, life has its twists and turns. Some are expected while others are not so expected.

To help with this, I tell myself that the unexpected WILL happen; that things won't always be okay. Having this understanding means I don't have to feel like a failure if things turn sour. It's about loving yourself and being kind to yourself.

Can you find some space to be kind to yourself tonight?

tyme

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