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Something’s not right

Need to vent

Need to vent

Hi everyone

I need to vent!!

I'm not coping

I'm not enjoying my new job. It's mundane, boring and triggering. For those who don't know, I was made redundant in my pharmacy job 4 days before Christmas. I then found a casual job at a supermarket. The job I do is very boring. I have far too much 'alone' time at work so my mind wanders to a lot of stuff. I asked my supervisor if i could learn the registers as thats what i would love to do. she replied that she couldn't until next year, don't know why as we are so short staffed and they need extras.

They advertise extra shifts or replacing a shift on facebook, which i really hate. but that's how they do it. i asked my supervisor if i could pick up extra shifts even though i don't know the registers. she replied yes thats fine that i would still do cleaning.

The other day a staff member posted she needed someone to do a shift. i was the first one tyo reply and accept the shift. another girl replied after me. the staff member replied back to me saying she would give that shift to the second girl as i don't know tyhe registers. I was so annoyed, angry and then upset. I feel used, and discriminated.

The problem is I am 'too scared' to confront my supervisor and ask again as i don't want the other member to get into gtrouble. so this means that i can't get any extra shifts until i learn the registers.

it is so wrong

the other issue i am having is seeing the old pharmacy customers. it's not an issue in that i see them, they love to talk. some still didn't know i had gone!!! but each time i see them and they say 'oh i am sorry to what happened to you' i get upset, hurt angry at the new owners. i miss the girls i used to work with and the job.

working for a much much bigger organisation is hard. there is so much clicks, so much politics and crap. i try to go in and do my job and go home.

but with so much time on my hands at work i start to think negatively.

i have recentyly had terrible vertigo, a 5 day migraine and today again another headache. i decided to call in sick and was spoken to so rude and short by the supervisor. it's like she doesn't believe me when i call in sick. and my anxiety is extremely high in having to ring her.

i don't have the confidence to leave and get another job. i feel i am not good enough

i am sorry to vent, i know a lot of you are struggling with your own issues. and that i should be thankful that i do have a job, as a lot of people have lost theirs.

4898 replies

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In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

I’m so appreciative of your kind words too. I always thought I wasn’t worthy of anything and have zero self confidence.
im glad we have connected on here

@grayhorn xxx

In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay 😊

Thinking of you

How is your health?

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Your beautiful my sister @BlueBay

Talk to you soon

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

hi my sis @oceangirl my health isn't too bad, still having chest pain. But my cardiologist has given me some meds to help with the inflammation of my heart. Hoping they work very soon.

Today i had a session with my psychiatrist and we spoke or (I) spoke a lot about my mum. how she has been all my life; her actions, her behaviour. Her lies, her tricks, her control. how it made me feel, what i would do just to feel that i was the 'good daughter'. i would put my family second to my mum. if she called me for something i would put everything down for her. if she wasnted me to drive her somewhere i would go asap. she made me do some things i am not proud of but as a daughter i thought i was doing the right thing because she was my mum.

why on earth did i let her do this to me; how can i just go along with her plans. stalking family members because of her insecurities - and to think i was involved. how bad am I? The control is terrible.

looking back to my younger years i never had any acknowledgement of my achievements in life. it was all about the others except me.

she has controlled and manipulated me all my life.

i am hurting so so much tonight, going through todays' session

i feel i am not part of a family because they (my parents ) don't care

i know i have my own children who care for me so much and my hubby too

but this pain really hits the heart

it really hurts

i know you have all heard this story before - i just needed to let it all out

@grayhorn @MDT @Snowie @Emelia8 @Shaz51 @Anastasia @Eve7 @Bow @Owlunar

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Sitting with you @BlueBay but I’m not sure if I have anything wise to say.

💙💙💙

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

thanks for being here @Eve7 xxxxooo

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay

Sitting with you BlueBay, you have such a loving heart. In an ideal world there would be no sorrow or injustice. How I long for that place. In the mean time we can be there for each other and say you are perfect just the way you are.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

hi @grayhorn @Eve7 @oceangirl @MDT @Shaz51 @Emelia8 @Snowie @Faith-and-Hope @Owlunar @Bow @NatureLover and others following


Just need to write this to my dad. I’m very emotional and angry tonight and don’t know what to do. Grief for someone I can’t see is terribly painful.

as I lay here in my bed

I think of you in my head

Of all the times I’ve tried to see you

but I get blocked and I know it’s not you

I feel sad angry and even emotional

because it’s like I’m grieving for you

I sometimes think “gee I wonder what dad is doing”

and then that question passes

it hurts you know it really does

We are the same - big soft hearts who only think of their family

but I still can’t see you

I get very scared and emotional that I may not get the chance to see you if you got very sick

that can’t sbd won’t happen because I will break all ties with mum just to see you

I never understand the reason why you just don’t stand up to her

but maybe you’re tired of all the fights you e had

I remember some of them growing up

I don’t know why I’m writing this but I

need to let my snger and tears out

i really hate the person mum has become -jealous controlling manipulative snd a narcissist


I never thought a person like my mum could be so evil. So controlling. Her narcissistic behaviours now I look back ruined me. How did I not see it. She’s my mum.
I’m so jealous of all the close mother/daughter relationships. Something I know will never ever happen.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Oh my dear friend @BlueBay I am so sad for you and will say a prayer 🙏 for you tonight.

💙🙏💙

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Oh @Eve7 I just remembered didn’t you have surgery today?? How are you?
thank you my friend. ♥️
some days I feel so alone in this grief

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