Need to vent

Sorry to hear that @BlueBay

I hope you get the help you need. Will be sitting with you hon 💗💗

Sorry to hear you're in pain, my sister. Hopefully you didn't have to wait too long. My pop had that condition. Thinking of you @BlueBay

Hi everyone

im struggling with my physical pain

chest pain comes and goes

spoke to my cardiologist yesterday have to go on cortisone meds to help with the inflammation

then there’s the diverticulitis pain. CT scan riled out infection but they think it could be inflamed.

seeing my own GP end of next week. Couldn’t get an appt to see my gastroenterologist until June. But the hospital did say if I’m in pain to go back.

I feel stressed at selling our hime

stressed so much at lack of funds and having to ask boys for money each fortnight.

stressed at my mum still not letting me go over to see them or especially dad.

@oceangirl @Snowie @Emelia8 @Shaz51 @Owlunar @MDT @Anastasia snd others

@Snowieit's Easter again - one later and it's worse this time

the bad news about my relative - going to hospital soon

I'm struggling - with the anxiety and stress

I posted in another thread

hi friends @oceangirl @Snowie @Emelia8 @Shaz51 @MDT @Owlunar and others following -

I had a nice Easter day yesterday. Had the kids for lunch except for one who had to work. It was so nice with little A as we hid the eggs and she loved finding them. I called my parents in the morning and was told by my mum that my dad couldn't get up to the phone as he has gout. So i didn't get to speak to him or wish him a happy day. I don't know if i believe her or not, she lies about a lot of things i am finding out. She was very quick on the phone and the call ended very quick.

But at the end of the day I was okay, i had my kids and granddaughter.

I think getting orgaised for lunch yesterday took too much out of me as I went to bed at 8.30pm and I have been in bed most of the day sleepng. having chest pains all day today, so i am thankful i have a drs appt tomorow. Not my regular GP but another one at the clinic.

You know to me Easter is all about family, love, peace and connection. I know i have that with my own children. But not with my own parents or siblings. It's a shame, it's sad - but there is nothing i can do. i have tried many many times.

today is not a good day

i try to be a good daughter and call to see how my dad is

i am desperately trying to see him

but i get all sorts of excuses now

i am not sure i will ever see him again

it breaks my heart to know that there is a huge wedge between me and my dad

and it's my mum

i feel really low

i feel emotional, sad, scared

i thought i was the 'good daughter' my whole life

but obviously i am NOT

all because i spoke out about my childhood abuse

should i have kept my mouth shut and not opened up about it

should i have told everyone

it's too late now

what's been said has been said

i just want to curl up and never see anyone again

@MDT @oceangirl @Emelia8 @Snowie @Shaz51 @Owlunar and others i have missed -

@BlueBay

Hi BB, I'd like to say hello. I've been reading your thread for a few years because I'm a technophobe and once I'd tick some sort of box, your thread would land in my inbox. I didn't know how to unsubscribe and I'm so glad I didn't. I've learnt so much from you, your resilience, your artistic nature, your loving close relationships with your extended family, the way you continually seem to bounce back from adversity. All the many friendships you sustain. You are an inspiration to me. I know it's triggering to receive compliments when things are tough, it's just I wanted to let you know how much you've helped me in my own journey, for me bipolar. You provide a very special sort of light. It doesn't go unnoticed.

My pdoc, is that the lingo for psychologist?, has been teaching me about self compassion which as far as I can see boils down to kindness and gentleness. A work in progress...

Hi @grayhorn

So glad to meet you here. I do struggle a lot accepting compliments. Wow I didn't realise i would be helping others on here by writing on my post, my journey of mental illness. My struggles with my parents, my life as a person. I am glad I could help you, that's one thing i love to do - is help people.

I am just blown away by your beautiful words to me. I am speechless, i don't know what to say. But a big THANK YOU to you @grayhorn

If i can help just one person then i am happy to be on here.

I hope you are doing okay, take care xxxoo

@BlueBay

Your kind words brought tears to my eyes.

You are appreciated!