Need to vent

You are grieving @BlueBay

And I am so sorry

Grief work is hard work - the hardest work you will ever do

And it's okay - its like - you have done nothing to deserve this

You are not alone

You are loved - don't let this destroy what you do have - your own family

Dec

thank you @Owlunar I know i am loved by my own family

but there's something still inside me, that little girl, that wants or needs it from them

i don't know why

is it validation; is it something else?? i don't know??

grief is hard to work through. i remmeber when we weren't talking for 4 years how i felt. i was devastated. i would cry for my dad so much. i would talk to him in my head to myself. i would tell him all the things i missed and needed. i used to tell him how badly i wanted a hug.

maybe i should do a daily journal to my dad. just write little things to him. i don't know, maybe it's a silly idea.

i am so messed up this week. i emailed the bank but haven't heard back yet.

i have had enough, i am tired, i am emotionally drained. few bills need to be paid but we just can't pay them. wish my head would just be quiet for a little bit.

but it's not, it's racing.

i swear right now i just want to run

run fast somewhere

anywhere

just get out of here

i need an escape

pls can anyone help me get out of my crazy house

hubby has no f......g idea on how to deal with anyone

bills to be extended

oh i have to do it

don't i

just let me go

just anywhere

my head is crazy

@Owlunar @Shaz51 @Jynx @Emelia8 is anyone around.

Hello @BlueBay

and others visiting this thread,

I am really sorry to hear of your current situation @BlueBay , and I am hearing your anguish and distress.

A response that I wrote to you recently was removed because I was told that it appeared to the moderator that it was "disrespecful". I did not and still do not agree, however, a decision has been made.

I feel disinclined to offer comments that simply comply with how I think that someone else wants me to speak. When I offer a comment, it is often not just a pat on the back with a casual "You'll be ok", but a sincere and thoughtfull statement with regard to another person's situation, in like fashion, though possibly in a different style, to those that others have offered as comments and suggestions.

It is certainly my wish that you be able to work your way through the current situation. I have offered suggestions earlier in this thread and also on other threads, which I hope may still be of some assistance to you.

With My Most Sincere Care and Concern

@HenryX

I had the worst nightmare ever

both my parents had died

I saw it happen

I won't go into detail it could be triggering

the emotions OMG I can't describe

it was like it was so real

hubby would tell me to stop crying

I told him to leave me alone to grieve

and then after a few days

our finances were ok because of the inheritance

@Owlunar @Shaz51 @Jynx @Shaz51 @Emelia8 @oceangirl @MDT and others reading

Wow @BlueBay

The inheritance - was this from your mother-in-law?

And nightmares are dreams - I have done some dream-analysis - in this case I am not surprised - you are grieving

Today - well - wait and see

Dec

Oh no sorry @Owlunar I didn't explain myself.
because in my dream my parents died we would sell their house which means we would get some inheritance.
Not from my MIL she only had some money which helped us a little at the time.

that nightmare is so real so clear

what I saw was horrible

I hate nightmares they leave you very unsettled

Well nightmares are disturbing @BlueBay and we all do have them

I have found I rarely remember a good dream though I know I had it - bad dreams though - I recall every detail

Your mother has behaved badly and she will suffer loneliness because of that - you did not deserve that

So grieve - I have been through the same and time changes things but yes - letting time pass is hard yards

Dec

thank you my friend @Owlunar

@BlueBay

💙🤗💙