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Something’s not right

Need to vent

Need to vent

Hi everyone

I need to vent!!

I'm not coping

I'm not enjoying my new job. It's mundane, boring and triggering. For those who don't know, I was made redundant in my pharmacy job 4 days before Christmas. I then found a casual job at a supermarket. The job I do is very boring. I have far too much 'alone' time at work so my mind wanders to a lot of stuff. I asked my supervisor if i could learn the registers as thats what i would love to do. she replied that she couldn't until next year, don't know why as we are so short staffed and they need extras.

They advertise extra shifts or replacing a shift on facebook, which i really hate. but that's how they do it. i asked my supervisor if i could pick up extra shifts even though i don't know the registers. she replied yes thats fine that i would still do cleaning.

The other day a staff member posted she needed someone to do a shift. i was the first one tyo reply and accept the shift. another girl replied after me. the staff member replied back to me saying she would give that shift to the second girl as i don't know tyhe registers. I was so annoyed, angry and then upset. I feel used, and discriminated.

The problem is I am 'too scared' to confront my supervisor and ask again as i don't want the other member to get into gtrouble. so this means that i can't get any extra shifts until i learn the registers.

it is so wrong

the other issue i am having is seeing the old pharmacy customers. it's not an issue in that i see them, they love to talk. some still didn't know i had gone!!! but each time i see them and they say 'oh i am sorry to what happened to you' i get upset, hurt angry at the new owners. i miss the girls i used to work with and the job.

working for a much much bigger organisation is hard. there is so much clicks, so much politics and crap. i try to go in and do my job and go home.

but with so much time on my hands at work i start to think negatively.

i have recentyly had terrible vertigo, a 5 day migraine and today again another headache. i decided to call in sick and was spoken to so rude and short by the supervisor. it's like she doesn't believe me when i call in sick. and my anxiety is extremely high in having to ring her.

i don't have the confidence to leave and get another job. i feel i am not good enough

i am sorry to vent, i know a lot of you are struggling with your own issues. and that i should be thankful that i do have a job, as a lot of people have lost theirs.

4898 replies

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In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay I'm sorry I had to take Milo outside. Btw he is doing great- thanks for asking sis. It could be a trait but I also think you are very caring. Nothing wrong with caring about others- it is a great quality to have.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Love you @Emelia8 🙏😘♥️💐💐

In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi @BlueBay ,

You've raised many interesting ideas in your last few posts.

In terms of feeling sad when thinking about your parents passing, for some reason, I think it too - sometimes. And like you, I bring myself back into the present knowing that the present is the only thing I can control at the moment. So I don't think it 'strange' for you to think this way. Even @Former-Member mentioned thinking like that sometimes!

Now regarding feeling deeply for people - YES, common BPD trait, but that didn't mean it's 'wrong' or you are 'faulty'. I find myself tear up when I hear sad stories or when someone is sick etc. I feel deeply. Very deeply. I sympathise greatly. But you know what? I have very little empathy. Next to none. I can sympathise but I struggle to empathise. I'm still working on this with my psychologist because this issue was raised last year. Much of the therapy work in this area is about retraining the brain to use different language - quite interesting really.

Anyways, I've got to prepare for a meeting. Speak soon,

BPDSurvivor

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Good morning @BlueBay

Wishing you a good day today

Lots of love 💕💕💕

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay 🤗💕

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hey my friend @Snowie today is a bit of a lazy day. Littke A is here as her dad will pick her up from here at 4pm. We made some little cupcakes this morning. I made pink icing and little A decorated all of them. She wants to take 3 to her dad and 5 to her mum.

not doing much else. She's here now next to me colouring in her book. At nearly 4 she colours in between the lines. So precise.!! My 2 boys couldn't do that at age 5!!

Our dog jersey has an infection on her leg so now she has a cone on and needs antibiotics. Little A felt sorry for her snd kept saying "it's ok jersey you'll be better soon" while patting her. So cute.

snyway quiet afternoon once she goes. May even go for a walk later on or sleep!!

sleep sounds good.

What are you doing today?
how's everyone @Emelia8 @BPDSurvivor @oceangirl @MDT @Anastasia @Shaz51

and others following

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Wow @BlueBay sounds like you have done a lot with A already. I am sure she would have loved making the cupcakes. So nice that she wants to give some to her Dad and Mum.

A sounds like she loves spending time with you.

Not doing much today. It is cold and miserable outside so think it might be an inside day under my blanket. D's birthday is on Monday so need to wrap up her presents today too.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hope Jersey feels better soon @BlueBay

A is a wonderful nurse and she is soo awesome like you my sister xoxo

A sleep sounds like a good plan

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Happy birthday to your D @Snowie

How did she go with her driving xx

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

She can't go for her L's yet @Shaz51 because of lockdown. She can do some of it online but not all of it.

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