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Something’s not right

Need to vent

Need to vent

Hi everyone

I need to vent!!

I'm not coping

I'm not enjoying my new job. It's mundane, boring and triggering. For those who don't know, I was made redundant in my pharmacy job 4 days before Christmas. I then found a casual job at a supermarket. The job I do is very boring. I have far too much 'alone' time at work so my mind wanders to a lot of stuff. I asked my supervisor if i could learn the registers as thats what i would love to do. she replied that she couldn't until next year, don't know why as we are so short staffed and they need extras.

They advertise extra shifts or replacing a shift on facebook, which i really hate. but that's how they do it. i asked my supervisor if i could pick up extra shifts even though i don't know the registers. she replied yes thats fine that i would still do cleaning.

The other day a staff member posted she needed someone to do a shift. i was the first one tyo reply and accept the shift. another girl replied after me. the staff member replied back to me saying she would give that shift to the second girl as i don't know tyhe registers. I was so annoyed, angry and then upset. I feel used, and discriminated.

The problem is I am 'too scared' to confront my supervisor and ask again as i don't want the other member to get into gtrouble. so this means that i can't get any extra shifts until i learn the registers.

it is so wrong

the other issue i am having is seeing the old pharmacy customers. it's not an issue in that i see them, they love to talk. some still didn't know i had gone!!! but each time i see them and they say 'oh i am sorry to what happened to you' i get upset, hurt angry at the new owners. i miss the girls i used to work with and the job.

working for a much much bigger organisation is hard. there is so much clicks, so much politics and crap. i try to go in and do my job and go home.

but with so much time on my hands at work i start to think negatively.

i have recentyly had terrible vertigo, a 5 day migraine and today again another headache. i decided to call in sick and was spoken to so rude and short by the supervisor. it's like she doesn't believe me when i call in sick. and my anxiety is extremely high in having to ring her.

i don't have the confidence to leave and get another job. i feel i am not good enough

i am sorry to vent, i know a lot of you are struggling with your own issues. and that i should be thankful that i do have a job, as a lot of people have lost theirs.

4898 replies

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In response to: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Agree re something I should do I enjoy
I believe this important during lockdown @oceangirl

But I'm not sure. I get bored easier now.

I'm off to bed and I'll chat tomorrow friend

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Hi @BPDSurvivor sorry I haven't replied sooner.

I have been home now one month and it's been very very different. Isolating from others, just doing housework daily, walking, knitting headbands to hopefully sell online and reading books. I am trying to stay positive (as best i can) with regard to no finances, we do get by fortnight to fortnight - just.

Lockdown is horrible. I go from being okay one day and then the next I am a complete crying mess. There seems to be no middle bit. does that make sense?? I'm doing DBT with my psycholgoist but at the moment it's really hard because I can't see her, and over the phone is hard. Seeing my psychiatrist this thursday, she is so genuine and caring, always keeping my GP up to date. Saw my GP this morning for a few medical issues - got them all sorted; just have to wait on thyroid blood test.

I have come to accept that i will not look for work until start of the year. I have realised only recently that i just can't work like i used to. Being home is giving me the opportunity to take care of myself, bit of self care. And even though we are struggling financially a bit i feel this is the best thing for me right now. I have my GP's backing and psych as well. Hubby has now accepted that i am not looking for work so we just really watch what we spend with the little savings we have.

we are still thinking of moving; 2 houses in our street sold last week (within a week of board going up). There is still movement reg. selling and we would really alleviate our financial stress if we did - the only thing is where do we go and we would like to pay off all or most of our mortgage. We really love this area, been here most of my life; love the beaches, the people, the area. so we are really not sure. I know we won't lose value where we are so we could even stay put for a little bit longer. it's such a hard decision and a stressful one. maybe i am not ready for that yet.

You know, thinking about my session last week with my psycholoogist i have a lot of issues regarding self confidence, self worth, abandonment, judgement on me, rejection, fear of mistakes or getting things wrong etc etc - this will take a long time to work through but i know i have the right support team now. i just need to get my head around stuff and not doubt myself so much.

@oceangirl hey sis I am okay today. did my walk this morning to the doctors and got myself a coffee on the way home. i am so lucky i live only 15min walk to the beach. that's why it's hard to move and sell. did the washing this morning early, swept the floors and am reading my book. might do some knitting soon.

how are you going?

hi @MDT @Snowie @Shaz51

wishing you all a happy day,

take care all xxxxoooo

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay Glad to hear you're ok my sister. You have some tough decisions to make re selling your house. I am pleased you're looking after yourself. I got sad news today, my dad has cancer and will not know more until he has further tests done. I am heading down to see my parents after dinner.

I have been out today and dropped things off at the recyle centre, claimed Milo's surgery, Went shopping for myself and my mum. I am just waiting on the washing to finish and then hanging it out and probably make some lunch. After lunch will tidy through and get organized. Hope you have a lovely afternoon.

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

hello @Snowie , @BPDSurvivor , @MDT , @BlueBay , @oceangirl

thank you for the updat my sisters @oceangirl , @BlueBay

yes I think I need to come to terms that i need to slow down too , can not do as much as i did before

we are planning of cutiing back more as mum`s health is not the best and have to think of my own health too

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Oh no @oceangirl I'm sorry on the sad news about your dad. Hugs lovely.
how's milo?
thinking of you xxxooo

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Ohh my sister xoxo @oceangirl , sorry to hear about your dad

Have a safe trip xx

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

@BlueBay I appreciate your message and support my sister. Milo is good, swelling and bruising is reduced. I had been teary before but now determine to help my dad. It may come back,that there is nothing to worry about, I guess we will cross that bridge when we have to. I'm heading down to see my mum and dad. Talk to you soon. OG

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

I am heading down to see my parents soon. I just hope he will be okay. Thank you for your support my sister. Glad you are looking after yourself. @Shaz51

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Morning lovely @oceangirl

how is your dad?

I can't sleep been awake since 4.45am.
xxxxx

In response to: Re: Need to vent

Re: Need to vent

Good morning @BlueBay

I’m sorry you haven’t slept much hon. I hope today is good for you. 💙💙💙

Thank you so much for your support yesterday. What you said to me really helped me realise how fortunate I am to have such a good pdoc.

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