Hey @BlueBay ,
So so so glad you reached out.
In terms of 'accepting' my BPD diagnosis, in retrospect, it is not only cognitively acknowledging I have weaknesses, but being proactive and working towards doing something about it. For instance, I understand I have emotion instabilities, hence I work towards practising strategies that try to bring an equilibrium to the situation. It is about being open to trying new things. Although we may have the same BPD diagnosis, the traits can vary greatly. That means, a strategy that works for you may not work for me.
Another example is my tendency to flare up into uncontrollable fits of anger. I know this is my weakness, hence I practise sensing potential flare ups and implement strategies which prevent the escalation of situations.
Recovery requires an active part on your part. It is not about being passive receivers of therapy and tools, but rather users. For me, it was learning that unless I practise these skills when I am not triggered, they will not be effective when I am triggered. That is why I practise defusion techniques everyday, so that when I am triggered, I am more adept to using defusion techniques.
Another important point is an understanding of the "behaviour change model". For behaviours to change, this model outlines the following steps:
- Step 1: Precontemplation - unaware of the problem
- Step 2: Contemplation - aware of the problem and of the desired behaviour change
- Step 3: Prepartion - intends to take action
- Step 4: Action - practises the desired behaviour
- Step 5: Maintenance - works to sustain the behaviour change
A therapist is there to GUIDE, facilitate, and support one's desire to make changes, but they cannot do the work for you. Consider which stage you are at, and perhaps this model of behaviour change can shed some light on the work ahead.
This model works extremely well with BPD. I cannot say you can use this model for all MH issues (e.g. chemical imbalances which need medication), but I am certain these are the underlying principles to BPD recovery.
Have I answered you in a way you understand? Please let me know if you want further clarification about anything. I would be more than happy to answer you. I am very open about my BPD and my recovery journey.
BPDSurvivor
