Emotionally drained

Hi,

Last year I'd posted about having a parent with extreme psychosis, who wouldn't seek help and denied that it was all in her head.

I'm finding the psychosis comes and goes, but it sticks around longer then it goes away for.
My mum in the past was diagnosed with BPD and in my opinion is a frequent user of ice, despite her denying this also.
She gets twitchy, extremely paranoid and erratic when we think she's using. (As well as having some shady known drug user friends over).

Looking back, I think there's been a lot of manipulation and emotional abuse over the years. Arguments over nothing, the massive mood swings, constant belittling and degrading remarks.

I'm struggling to stand on my own feet. We currently live in the same household, and I feel it'd be difficult to move away due to have animals with medical problems (horse and cat), which she is unable to care for (the psychosis also contributes to this). She's saying she wants to sell the house etc, but I feel this is also part of the emotional abuse side of it. Another part is, that she can't be home alone because she and the dogs are 'getting sprayed with chemicals' by all our neighbours.. so I'm never really given my own space and time.

I think I'm also struggling because I'm very low in confidence and self esteem. I'm a registered nurse, however she constantly puts me down regarding this too.

How do I cope with the emotional abuse side of it? The paranoia related to the psychosis?

Im worn out, this has been occurring over the last near abouts 2 years and I don't know how much more I can take.
Also put down our dog yesterday, and instead of it running smoothly, my mum didn't spend the entire day with the dog, rocked up 30mins before and caused a massive argument, blaming everyone else.
I'm still struggling to see a light. I'm exhausted and scared I'll never have my own life. I'm 23yo.