Struggling.

@Former-Member. To stop your suicidal thoughts. That's dangerous. And if your meds need changing, it is done while in hospital, so theycan mmonitor it's effectiveness.
Ultimately it's up to you whether you go into hospital or not. The same as it is up to you what you tell your husband. You can continue to tell him nothing. Share a little - such as depression and anxiety. Or the whole lot. It is your decision.
I know hospital was the best place for me. I'm a single mum with a teenager. When I had these images of my death (suicide) it scared me. I was terrified I may do it. I didn't want to leave my son without his mum & I didn't want to leave him to cope with my suicide. That's why I went in. My son's dad - didn't know I was in hospital. My family covered for me. Myex ddoesn't believe in mental health. lol.
I wish you well on your journey to better health.

My psychologist is great, I do get along with her and I trust her, but I haven't made any progress because I suffer such bad anxiety when I'm in her office.
I want to feel better, and feel normal but I honestly can't see it ever happening.

@Former-Member. It just takes time. Go easy on yourself. It may help if you write some things down that you find hard to say. That way you can give your psychologist some more information without the anxiety stopping you