Severe Treatment resistant Agitated Depressinon

Hi. I'm Zoe. I used to be a Registered Nurse. I grew up on a farm. I have 2 adult children and 3 beautiful Grandchildren.

Been married to a wonderful man for nearly 35 years. We have stuck together through thick and thin on both sides. I have been his carer since a severe episode of treatment resistant Agitated Depression about 16 years ago. It took 3 years then to get my Husband back: Over 100 ECT treatments, various medication changes due to ineffectiveness. Then they put him on a last resort, old fashioned antidepressant.

For the last 13 years he has been an extremely stable, very active man with a very dry sense of humour.

Last year there was a shortage of his medications, but I managed to maintain his supply by making many phonecalls and lots of running around. This year, in May, our Pharmacist notified us that his medication had been discontinued. Whilst we still had a small supply, I endeavoured to get him a Psychiatrist appointment for guidance in coming off the drug. By the time we saw her in Mid June, I had already reduced him down to 2 tablets a day, just to get him through to the appointment. After a further week on 1 tablet a day, he needed to have a 2 week washout, before commencing another antidepressant.

Within 36 hours of ceasing his Antidepressant, his symptoms started reappearing, and within 3 days he was admitted to hospital.

He returned home after 3 weeks, heavily dependent on an antianxiety drug to function in any way. This has been a nightmare of a rollercoaster ride. He has been back in the Older Persons Mental Health Unit for 2 weeks, and has commenced ECT treatment again. 😢

It has been devastating to see him go through this again! He only leaves his room to go to dining room at meal times. He is scared of the most basic things, like showering. He will only go for a walk outside with me or his son, and shakes constantly while we are out, always looking for danger. He is still having suicidal thoughts, as he doesn't think he can get through this again. He thinks they will lock him away.

I have to limit my visits to him to just over an hour, as it distresses me too much. I need to stay strong for him. I also ring him twice a day, but the conversations are very depressing.

If you read all this, thanks for listening. My big fear is that they won't find an effective medication for him to be able to return to normal life. X