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new person

MalcolmCasual Contributor03 Aug 2016, 5:16 pm AEST

new person

?Hi, I'm new , I have just joined and I have no idea what I am doing. Just to fill you in on me , I suffer from an ABI (acquired brain injury) , this is a result of a car accident which my wife of 25 years died. After 2 years I got together with another lady and she died of cancer after 4 years together. The accident was in 1997 , some might say that is a long time ago, sure it was, but I was driving the car and I miss my wife every day. I don't know how to build a bridge and get over it , so I'm just donig some work in an aged care facility to feel a bit better about myself and look after someone because I can't look after my wife.

15 replies

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In response to: new person

Unknown userMember03 Aug 2016, 10:12 pm AEST

Re: new person

Its very hard to rebuild you're life when everyrhing is taken away. People who can't forgive, your daughter, are hurting themselves. They can't see past their own pain & grasping at straws to hang on to what they think is helping the lost loved one. I think. They fail to see you didn't want your wife to die. Or the fallout of relationships & the other that followed. Blaming only adds to pain. No doubt you've said sorry, you didn't want this & the pain its caused. But its just too hard for some people. My sister hasn't talked to me for 4yrs now, when I need her most after losing my girl, go figure. I have put myself in harms way, more than once, but the survival instinct is strong. I'm glad you have the sense not to mess things up more by going that way. Stay strong. Join a couple of groups. You sound like a lovely person. Deep thinker, soft heart.

In response to: new person

1731LCSenior Contributor04 Aug 2016, 6:39 pm AEST

Re: new person

@Malcolm.
I am unable to say i understand.
As i have never experienced the loss of my partner.
Though i have lost a Brother.
I think your amazing.
By going & helping in a facility where they would greatly appreciate your support caring nature.
I think these caring facilities can never have enough extra hands.
I personally have always helped within my Community, when i am unable to be employed within a paid position.
I wish you well & maybe in time.
You will be able to accept your loss.
Come to terms with it.
I have always been told in time things become manageable.
Kind regards 1731LC

In response to: Re: new person

MalcolmCasual Contributor04 Aug 2016, 8:21 pm AEST

Re: new person

Hi 1731LC, yes hopefully I will beable to understand why. And yes the aged people at the facility really appreciate the support I give them.

Could you tell me (If you want to) what you do in your community and why can't that lead to paid work for you. You sound like a caring person ,I am sorry for the loss of your brother.

I would lke to get to know what makes you tick , only because, given my experience, I might be able to help you and your endeavors. If this is to forward please ignore me and don't answer my questions.

All the very best

Malcolm

In response to: new person

1731LCSenior Contributor04 Aug 2016, 9:13 pm AEST

Re: new person

@Malcolm.
My brother suicided.
In time i have come to terms with it.
Though their are days like it feels like yesterday.

My previous volunteering positions
Have been.
Community Gardens
Riding for the Disabled
Homeless Shelter
Aged Care facilities
Pre Schools
Charity stores
Office work within the Salvation Army.
Founder of a Support Group for those who have lossed a Love one through Suicide.

I have Bipolar /Depression
& endure some really low down days sometimes lasting weeks on end.
The longest length 3 weeks.
I am ok at the moment.
My last Caring position.
I had personal issues i were dealing with.
As well as i had a panic attack adter my first day on tge job.
Couldnt go back as i were dealing with family issues.
That were really draging me down.
Now i am focusing on My Self.
Some people might think this is selfish.
I feel i have Tried Tried & Tried again.
With most family members & extended family
As well as some friends.
Now it is all about my life.
Keeping Happy
Helping my Community
Friends
& Neighbours.
Re connecting with those interest that i enjoy.
Bush walking
Cycling
Dancing
Gym
Walking
Beach
Swimming
Bbq
Fishing
Dragon boating
As well as learning new things crafts arts etc etc.
Kind regards 1731LC

In response to: Re: new person

MalcolmCasual Contributor04 Aug 2016, 9:45 pm AEST

Re: new person

Thank you for replying. You sound like (as I suspected) a loving and caring person.Doing all those things for your community, I take my hat off to you.

Ok you have bipolar and depression but you have got the guts to get out and do all those activities. You have your bad days, we all do-- some of mine are really bad, it does not make you less of a person, if fact it makes you stronger because a lesser person could not get over the obstacles that you face.

All the things you are interested in I just think WOW . I love fishing and boating and the beach I think I must have been a fish in a former life.

Although I am not qualified I would like to help you , if I can, just by talking to you and helping to see the positive side to life. We have both been though s@#t so perhaps we might be adle to help each other.

Kind regards

Malcolm

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