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What does OK look like?
11 replies
In response to: What does OK look like?
Unknown userMember
Re: What does OK look like?
Hi @Former-Member,
Good question! I think it really depends on what you want out of life, one person's OK might be very different to someone else's. For me, I've found that OK has changed a lot over the years. I once had a youthful "need to be someone" kind of mentality, and anything but that was not OK, but that has really kind of levelled off as I've grown older, and had more "practice" working with what life has thrown me, learning to be grateful for what comes my way, and simplifying what I want and need. I guess I've become less idealistic, and that's led to more contentment and peace. Now I feel like OK is being comfortable with who I am deep down, living a life that is simple, not too busy and full of laughs. It's still a work in progress of course...
What does OK look like to you?
In response to: Re: What does OK look like?
Unknown userMember
Re: What does OK look like?
In response to: What does OK look like?
SehnsuchtSenior Contributor
Re: What does OK look like?
@Former-Member,
Think hard before dismissing diagnoses.
If I had never been hospitalised as a teen, no one would diagnose me schizoaffective today. In fact, I recently had a psychiatrist consult that dismissed all those years of hard work and told me I have a personality disorder.
All the same, my feeling and concern is, that I wasn't deemed a sick person UNTIL that acute episode either.
I am still me, either side of the episode.
So, it goes to reason, that all my mini struggles, ae what define the illness in the inbetween. They can build, overwhlem, I shut down, the pixies close in.
Just another perspective. Thinking of you,hope your drs are guiding you well through easing off meds and therapy x
Think hard before dismissing diagnoses.
If I had never been hospitalised as a teen, no one would diagnose me schizoaffective today. In fact, I recently had a psychiatrist consult that dismissed all those years of hard work and told me I have a personality disorder.
All the same, my feeling and concern is, that I wasn't deemed a sick person UNTIL that acute episode either.
I am still me, either side of the episode.
So, it goes to reason, that all my mini struggles, ae what define the illness in the inbetween. They can build, overwhlem, I shut down, the pixies close in.
Just another perspective. Thinking of you,hope your drs are guiding you well through easing off meds and therapy x
In response to: Re: What does OK look like?
Unknown userMember
Re: What does OK look like?
In response to: What does OK look like?
SehnsuchtSenior Contributor
Re: What does OK look like?
Hugs Briar!
Life and pressure can indeed be just that, and our reactions can be just that.
Medication and ongoing help or not, you are at a disadvantage in society.
I took the route you are taking 10yrs ago. I denied my diagnosis, feeling this the way to take ownership of my actions and a way to a life I controlled.
I don't regret owning my actions, taking control. But the reality is that I do have an MI, even if on either side of my acute episode, I could say to myself 'This is what OK looks like' (aside from moments. Of which I have many. Of which anyone arguably has many). Why do I say this?
Because I lost 2-5 years of my life.
I damaged my health.
I interrupted, and as such stalled, my formal education.
I have like, no super.
I have like, no savings.
I spent 7 years building enough work history and navigating it all alone without assistance, to get myself to a position where I felt comfortable and was taken seriously, in leadership roles.
I broke the law, it is on soft record, but record all the same.
I almost got sectioned as an adult. That would be on record had that been the case.
Then there is the emotional burdens.
Those I have hurt.
Those I have lost.
The constant reminder that if I sprial into acute, I will be ignored. Everytime I walk in the city, or in my town at night, I am reminded this.
The constant villifying of mental illnesses on TV. Everytime I see a mother called horrible names for harm caused by post partum depression or psychosis. Especially when reports tell of how a diagnosis was there.
So, 10 years on, and yes management for me is no meds
(I don't like admitting that, I don't like others comparing and being burdened by my privilege in that respect. I would take meds, shoud ever the need arise, and it prove to be therapeutic. I am NOT against meds. This was navigated during what was essentially a 2 year long inpatient stay and supervision under case managers.),
but I am schizoaffective. I now see the need for disclaiming, to fight for equity in my workplace, and in my social interactions. To dismiss the diagnosis, disempowers me. Which is an oxymoron because being ill disempowered me. But is it lose-lose, or can I make my claim to schizoaffective, and empowerment, now tower over what I lost? I hope so.
Best of luck, @Former-Member!
Life and pressure can indeed be just that, and our reactions can be just that.
Medication and ongoing help or not, you are at a disadvantage in society.
I took the route you are taking 10yrs ago. I denied my diagnosis, feeling this the way to take ownership of my actions and a way to a life I controlled.
I don't regret owning my actions, taking control. But the reality is that I do have an MI, even if on either side of my acute episode, I could say to myself 'This is what OK looks like' (aside from moments. Of which I have many. Of which anyone arguably has many). Why do I say this?
Because I lost 2-5 years of my life.
I damaged my health.
I interrupted, and as such stalled, my formal education.
I have like, no super.
I have like, no savings.
I spent 7 years building enough work history and navigating it all alone without assistance, to get myself to a position where I felt comfortable and was taken seriously, in leadership roles.
I broke the law, it is on soft record, but record all the same.
I almost got sectioned as an adult. That would be on record had that been the case.
Then there is the emotional burdens.
Those I have hurt.
Those I have lost.
The constant reminder that if I sprial into acute, I will be ignored. Everytime I walk in the city, or in my town at night, I am reminded this.
The constant villifying of mental illnesses on TV. Everytime I see a mother called horrible names for harm caused by post partum depression or psychosis. Especially when reports tell of how a diagnosis was there.
So, 10 years on, and yes management for me is no meds
(I don't like admitting that, I don't like others comparing and being burdened by my privilege in that respect. I would take meds, shoud ever the need arise, and it prove to be therapeutic. I am NOT against meds. This was navigated during what was essentially a 2 year long inpatient stay and supervision under case managers.),
but I am schizoaffective. I now see the need for disclaiming, to fight for equity in my workplace, and in my social interactions. To dismiss the diagnosis, disempowers me. Which is an oxymoron because being ill disempowered me. But is it lose-lose, or can I make my claim to schizoaffective, and empowerment, now tower over what I lost? I hope so.
Best of luck, @Former-Member!
In response to: Re: What does OK look like?
Unknown userMember
Re: What does OK look like?
This really is such an important questions, i wish that i knew he answer for my own life. Its so much easier to know what's not ok...
What i would like ok to be would be.. feeling ok in myself. haing some idea of who i am.. being a good mama and being able to enjoy life.
lj
In response to: Re: What does OK look like?
AppleblossomSenior Contributor
Re: What does OK look like?
Hi @Former-Member
I wish I knew the original full post, but even the title alone is a great question.
I REALLY liked @Sehnsucht detailed personal response .. it teased out a lot of issues that I still struggle with.
I never realised it was possible for some one to be an inpatient for more than a few months since ...1995 and deinstitutionalisation and the death of my brother. As it was a 2nd sibling suicide I am questioning the genuinenss of my pdocs at the time .. they had ALL the information that I had ... I witheld NOTHING.
My respect for the possibilities of PEER support goes up. About a month ago, someone on this forum posted a response that asked me if none of my doctors had ever said I had been abused. I was shocked to read it and let it slide in my answer on that thread, but the answer is "NO" none of them had mentioned me being abused .. more of a weary boring attitude to my childhood issues, which tended to trivialise them and stopped me exploring them or raising them or complaining.
Maybe that is why that doctor was so Horrid ...he felt guilty about what he knew and did not do .. when I tried to get him to send a file to my GP ... a couple of decades later ... then the GP was horrendous to me ... maybe there is a case of malpractice against him ... not sure ... will think on this.
@Former-Member I look through life with the proverbial rose-coloured glasses ... I have not a frigging cloo what normal is .. in my dotage I am trying to say the "ok" work less due its American origins.
Cheers Apple
In response to: What does OK look like?
KurraSenior Contributor
Re: What does OK look like?
For me knowing I'm OK is that I finally feel that I fit in my own skin. I'm comfortable with who I am. I trust my own decisions and I no longer have the feeling of being a square peg in a round hole.
I can genuinely laugh. I can socialise without feeling invisible. I wake up happyand smile (real smiles) throughout my day.
I can still have bad hair days but I no longer know that going down the greasy pole to the depths of despair. I am medication compliant and will remain so for the remainder of my life.
I've worked hard to get where I am and it has taken 25 years of multiple medication combinations. Now it looks as if the mix is the right one. My docs and psychologist still catch up with me every 4 to 6 weeks as maintenance therapy and that's OK because it gives professionals the chance to pick up on changes that I may not have noticed so early intervention can be set in place if necessary.
I can genuinely laugh. I can socialise without feeling invisible. I wake up happyand smile (real smiles) throughout my day.
I can still have bad hair days but I no longer know that going down the greasy pole to the depths of despair. I am medication compliant and will remain so for the remainder of my life.
I've worked hard to get where I am and it has taken 25 years of multiple medication combinations. Now it looks as if the mix is the right one. My docs and psychologist still catch up with me every 4 to 6 weeks as maintenance therapy and that's OK because it gives professionals the chance to pick up on changes that I may not have noticed so early intervention can be set in place if necessary.
In response to: What does OK look like?
Unknown userMember
Re: What does OK look like?
Pretty interesting thread @Former-Member..I can't see the start die to my phone glitches..what diagnosis did you receive? If ok to ask you this? Does it not feel 'real' someday s you think? I think it would be challenging particularly when you feel fine or to be doing al the 'normal' things society says. I think anything new takes time to digest.😊 To get our sense of place with it.
In response to: What does OK look like?
Unknown userMember
Re: What does OK look like?
Kind of wanted to add my bit here too @Former-Member as it is interesting. What ok looks like and what ok feels like are quite different for me and I imagine us all. I think the people I know would say I look ok if I'm staying out of hospital, not self harming, showering and doing self care, getting out of the house and engaging in socialising. These things don't necessarily mean I feel ok though and I suspect this may be the same for many of us. I hate that I could look and feel ok one day and totally collapse the next. I think in my world people see me functioning in one day and assume things are improving. I guess in real life being ok isn't linear. It's @NikNik diagram of the swirly mess where some parts are ok and some are far from it but it's generally going up. Thank you for enabling my rambling. I hope you are on the feeling ok part right now 😊💜
