Not my 'story' - it's my nightmare.

@Historylover Oh true I love cannon hill I worked at morningside. Brisbane is beautiful I love it there.

@AEB Small world isn't it? So pleased you love it in Brisbane.

@Historylover Yes very small world. So where are you living now?

Dear @chibam Some days ago before I made my LikeMinds post, I felt that as I was feeling so low I was worried about the effect I may have on you as we had developed such a rapport. It's great to have like minds but what effect do we have on each other when we are going down. Do we take the other person down with us? I was just so concerned.

I have loved reading your posts, but they have made me feel sad. Don't take that as anything other than a good thing. It made me feel good to be affected by you and your load - although I had no idea what it was.

I tried to move among a more broad group so that I didn't develop a link to you which could be burdensome to you.

I have found your posts so interesting, so well-informed, so heart-warming but I didn't ask you what your particular problem was as I didn't want to intrude. I have just been reading a few of your old posts and think I understand. I am so sorry for your experiences. They call it 'mental illness'! Like hell!

As I said, I swing from one understanding of my own situation to the opposite and I was feeling that I was going to be alright and that if I kept posting, I may just get annoying. We can't tell people everything is going to be fine - so what else could I say to anyone. I didn't know what else I was going to say to you or to anyone else so I decided I would move on and leave everyone with my best wishes for getting their lives together.

My good feelings didn't last long and my pendulum swung back again to the realities of my situation and I am now back again. I don't know what I am doing.

No, @chibam, I did not have a good experience from my psychiatrist. It only seems that way when I am feeling positive and it doesn't last long. I did some research on psychiatrists harming patients etc. and read that bullies are often drawn to the 'helping professions' eg. doctors, nurses, etc. I realized long ago that we don't deal with people in the roles they represent but with their individual personalities. The 'bully' aspect which was suggested hadn't occured to me but it makes perfect sense.

How are you? You are so helpful to everyone, so able to express things which so many of us understand but don't have the depth of understanding you have. What a mess we are all in.

@AEB We came to Melbourne 40 years ago. I fell in love with it immediately.

@Historylover Oh nice it’s on my list of places to go...once we can go places again

@AEB You are sounding much more positive today. Keep it up.

@Historylover Yeah I’m getting myself and my daughter out of the mess we are currently living in and back to a place of love and support. Just needing to find a place to live now

@AEB Happy hunting!

Hi @Historylover. Sorry for taking so long to respond. Since I saw your latest replies were a bit big, I decided to put off reading them until I had some time. I didn't realize how badly you'd plummetted since your previous posts. I hope your feeling a bit better now.

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@Historylover wrote:

No, @chibam, I did not have a good experience from my psychiatrist. It only seems that way when I am feeling positive and it doesn't last long.

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Sorry to hear that. I can't say I understand what it's like to have varying feelings about my treatment or my therapists - my opinions about them have always been about as decisive as can be - but I do know what it's like to feel betrayed and corrupted by one's therapist. There's not much to say, is there? Aside from the fact that it sucks immensely and the powers that be really need to take notice of these sorts of travesties. I think, between the various inquiries going on at the moment, they are starting to at least become aware of the scale of the problem.

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@Historylover wrote:

I did some research on psychiatrists harming patients etc. and read that bullies are often drawn to the 'helping professions' eg. doctors, nurses, etc. I realized long ago that we don't deal with people in the roles they represent but with their individual personalities. The 'bully' aspect which was suggested hadn't occured to me but it makes perfect sense.

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I didn't want to say anything while you were still carrying a fond impression of your therapist, but I found a video a while back that implied a fair amount of therapists are sociopaths! They love it, apparently! Plenty of ripe, vulnerable victims unwittingly stumbling in through their doors, for them to exploit and manipulate for their own ends. And while I was watching this video, which went into thorough descriptions of what sociopaths do and how they exploit people, I was astonished at just how familiar all of it sounded. How so much of what was beeing described was eerily similar to how my worst therapist treated me!

I wouldn't be the slightest bit surprised if it turned out my therapist was a sociopath.

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@Historylover wrote:

You are so helpful to everyone, so able to express things which so many of us understand but don't have the depth of understanding you have. What a mess we are all in.

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Thanks! But the truth is, I'm floundering in confusion just like everyone else here. I know the ins-and-outs of my own story; but when it comes to understanding others - especially "normal" people - I tend to get lost very quickly.

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@Historylover wrote:

How are you?

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Same old same old. Stuck on a lonely prison bus going to a place I don't want to go, with little to no prospect of my destination improving. Basically a living example of why our society desparately needs a system to help those with hopeless lives, and simultaneously an example of how no such system currantly exists, despite any claims to the contrary.