@Historylover wrote:
Doesn't that simply show how accepting we are that we can excuse everything because 'life is such a rat-race'? It is only a 'rat-race' when we make it that way because that is how we wish to present ourselves - busy, successful, important, in demand - more so than everyone else. Too busy, in fact, to notice how everything in our lives - and the lives of those who depend on us - is disintegrating? How our society has broken down? Too busy to be busily occupied with the things which should be of the utmost importance to us - our family!
IMHO, it's a little more complicated then that because there is also a certain measure of protection involved in embracing bussiness and 'the rat race'. Because it liberates people from having to get involved with others who they don't want to be involved with. I know that there have certainly been occasions where I've been grateful that "other things I needed to do" had given me a legitimate excuse to avoid unpleasant social obligations, and judging by the general quality of the company involved, I strongly suspect that numerous others would've found it liberating to have such "busy lives" that didn't leave them any time for these unfulfilling engagements.
Which, I think, is a large part of the problem. It's not so much that people are brainwashed into being "busy" all the time; it's that out communities are so mismatched and incompatable that the social opportunities presented to us aren't worth investing in. Caring about others doesn't simply come about through time and effort; there has to be some degree of profound connection to build upon. The nature of the other person has to be such that deep down, you are genuinely grateful to have them in your life. But as I say, our society is so carelessly mis-matched that such potential connections are very few and far between.
Hence, we bury ourselves in the culture of bussiness in order to avoid the grim reality of how heavily burdened we are by the incompatable people surrounding us and how impossible it would be to genuinely care for them, even if we made the time and effort.
@Historylover wrote:
I do not subscribe to the belief that others care just because they say they care - or just because they go through the motions of caring - or say nice things, with a nice voice. I say we are all accountable for the effect we have on others' lives.
I couldn't agree more. But therein lies yet another dillemma.
I used to try, as best I could, to live according to: "Treat others how you would wish to be treated." But that becomes unworkable, or counterproductive, when you strike people who clearly don't like being treated the way you would want to be treated. So all you can do is fumble around in a situation you can't understand and just hope you are doing right by those around you.
And then, on top of that, you have to grapple with the profound dissatisfaction of living according to other peoples' values and wrestle with the question of when you get to do right by yourself.
Which once again, IMHO, comes down to the problem of our terribly mismatched society; because an adequate society shouldn't be dominated by such conflicting agendas. In an adequate society, "treating others as you would wished to be treated yourself" and doing right by others would mean the exact same thing.
@Historylover wrote:
Society is made up of a multitude of families. I look about me and see a society where divorce is rife, illegitimate children attend their parents' second, third etc. marriage/s - after all, marriage is only necessary after one shows that it isn't necessary in the first place, because social mores,values, niceties don't apply to such parents...
Amen! I, too, find myself utterly horrified by the way that marriage has become a mere disposable, expendable triviality in our society. How are those among us who regard it as truly sacred supposed to get along in such a society; especially when said society is the medium through which we (hopefully) will meet our future spouse?
How do we make our way through such a life and utilize that society, while at the same time clearly advertizing to our soulmate that "I'm not like the rest of these people! I am looking to invest myself completely in a relationship of the utmost priority!"
In thinking about all this now, I can't help but recall a line from the old 1980s scifi classic, "Wargames": "A strange game. The only winning move is not to play." In the movie, it was a referance to war. But I can't help but think that statement might be true for life, as well.
@Historylover wrote:
That message had been to Jynx.
Just FYI, when you want to reply to a particular member, you can tag them with an "@" symbol. e.g. If you want to reply to Jynx, you just type @Jynx and they'll know your replying to them.
I do have a frustrating tendency to take existing discussions and spiral off into tangents of my own concern.
The more you write, the more thrilled I am! You really do get it!
