Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

snxiety

Unknown userMember30 July 2016, 10:19 pm AEST

snxiety

so so anxious. kids are away, it was a difficult send off this morning and my lil girl was clingy and worried. i'm so scared for them and about everything else as well. been one of those weeks where everything has gone a bit wrong as well. but it has been good to have our new dog (Dusty) here with me.

Still struggling to concentrate and cant even distract myself for longer than a few minutes. driving me crazy.

wish i were stronger, and that the world was fair and put children first

13 replies

1 - 10 of 13

1 2

In response to: snxiety

AppleblossomSenior Contributor30 July 2016, 10:41 pm AEST

Re: snxiety

Access can be awful but we gradually get used to it. That does not make it easy but somehow bearable.

Tell us about more about Dusty. @Former-Member

In response to: Re: snxiety

Unknown userMember30 July 2016, 11:02 pm AEST

Re: snxiety

dusty is a kelpie cross, we adopted him this week. he's 2 - 3 years old, very quiet and gentle. he's calm and doesnt jump or bark. loves cuddles and having his ears rubbed. is hilarious if i say no to him, he sits and just looks at me like what mum??

follows me around everywhere which is nice.

he came with the name dusty, i asked my son if he wanted to name him... and he said he wanted to name him 'cheese'.... so i suddenly thought it might be better to keep his name but we'll call him Dusty Cheese (last name) lol

In response to: snxiety

pipSenior Contributor31 July 2016, 9:08 am AEST

Re: snxiety

Hi lisajane. Are the kids away for long? What's the relationship like with you and their dad? I would try and plan things to do when my kids visited their g'parents for the weekend. My kids father died when they were young and the paternal g'parents decided they wanted to reconnect. It wasn't easy seeing them picked up, but I had to accept that for the kids to know their dad more, it was important for them. Children do cling when the non-custodial parent picks them up, 5 minutes with the parent and tears seem to ease. If he has a gf, that could be difficult, but not impossible. It's possible too that daughter becomes 'clingy' with dad when it's time to return home. Try and talk to dad when he drops them or collects them, see if the transition between mum and dad could be less painful for everyone. If you have problems communicating, that too reflects on how the kids behave when they see dad.

In response to: Re: snxiety

NikNikSenior Contributor03 Aug 2016, 10:44 pm AEST

Re: snxiety

I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you @Former-Member ...oh and Dusty Cheese ...

Best. Name. Ever.

In response to: snxiety

Unknown userMember03 Aug 2016, 11:08 pm AEST

Re: snxiety

Thanks @NikNik
Things are just feeling crappy. I'm somehow just failing at everything and sick of struggling. Tired of everything!
Dusty has decided to be my lil girls dog which is really lovely but I'm kinda sad lol he goes to bed with her at 7pm and that's it for the night lol! Even the dog doesn't want to be around me.
Saw psychiatrist tonight and it really didn't help. He has no answers - just agrees that situation is very complex and difficult. I was trying hard to look ok at tonight's meeting but Don't know really what the point is. He said he could write me a letter for work but that would only lead to me having to take time off or decrease my days which I can't afford and would probably be used against me in fam court as a sign I'm not coping or something. And I really don't want people at work knowing everything or more than they already do.
Life just sucks

In response to: snxiety

OnepunchCasual Contributor03 Aug 2016, 11:25 pm AEST

Re: snxiety

I suffer major depression... Tomorrow i have to say goodbye to a friend who lost his battle with depression... I just feel numb

In response to: Re: snxiety

Unknown userMember04 Aug 2016, 1:16 am AEST

Re: snxiety

I'm so sorry @Onepunch, Its such a cruel world sometimes. i wish i had something helpful to say. I can only imagine how hard tomorrow will be. Sometimes numbness is just what we need to get through the next little bit. please look after yourself though. are you feeling safe?

In response to: snxiety

utopiaSenior Contributor04 Aug 2016, 1:25 am AEST

Re: snxiety

@Former-Member. GUILT is so hard and so unfair. Especially when we are parents. We do one little thing - not right - & next thing our negative self talk is chattering away about every possible mistake we made & mistakes that we haven't even made. It's a bitch.
It's trying to turn off the negative self talk. I did this when I was in hospital. I wrote two lists - some of the negative comments my mind says. The other column was harder because I could not think of any positives - so instead I wrote down what my best friend has & would say about my parenting. These included things like: you take him to soccer.*you take him to cricket * you take him t I band practice * you go to every concert * you go to his sporting games. & you buy him clothes * you feed him * you explain your MI to him. & you try and buy him what you can with your limited money * you love him and you tell him * y I u keep him in contact with his dad ........ etc etc.
They don't have to be big things. I can't afford electronic games (his dad buys those). But even just talking the dogs for a walk and having a chat with him. Praising when he does something right.
Eveey time I had a negative parenting thought - I would look at my positive list. Ever time. It worked. Eventually I believed the words. I even added my iwn words to the list.
You can do this lust with other areas of your life. Slowely start adding more t I the positive side when you feel it.
Nothings perfect. Days I'd like to send my son to live with dad. Days I feel iI'm failing. I just keep looking at the positive list. I'm doing okay. I'm sure you are too. And a court looks favourably at someone who is getting help.

In response to: Re: snxiety

AppleblossomSenior Contributor04 Aug 2016, 1:27 am AEST

Re: snxiety

@Former-Member

LOL at your kelpie cross ...

Sorry it is still c**p. At least the pdoc isnt pretending to know more than he does.

Our cats have been a blessing.

One is called "Mo" after the Simpsons and is setting next to me on mum's old dining chairs that we got when I was about 13, which I picked 2 years ago when she passed. I'm on one and he is on the other.

BTW whose great idea was it to let children to name pets ... my other cat is called "Patch" ... at least your son was original. The cat I left with the ex was called "Whiskas" talk about being overly child-centred .. at least my middle girl called the dog "Soot" which is less common but not that amazingly special ...

Next pet I am getting to name.

In response to: Re: snxiety

AppleblossomSenior Contributor04 Aug 2016, 1:32 am AEST

Re: snxiety

@Onepunch

That is one of the most difficult things in the world to do.

Do what you need to do to keep mind and body and soul together. I actually kicked the wheel of a hearse once, not hard enough to break my toe or damage anything on the car ... but it helped me not just be a goody 2 shoes.

When you are ready and you have settled into reading the forum and know the set up, feel free to share more.

Apple

1 - 10 of 13

1 2