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Is this "normal"in the sense of a mental breakdown?

PowderfingerSenior Contributor23 Aug 2020, 12:30 am AEST

Is this "normal"in the sense of a mental breakdown?

There is not really any information I can find on the stages of a mental breakdown. Not like grief where there are seven stages, although they do not work in order.

I don't know if I'm still "in my mental breakdown" had it or coming out of it. I don't have a way of knowing at this point. It was roughly two weeks ago now. I was walking out the back door onto the verandah to do something, I felt quite glum and I just stopped. I wasn't doing ok. I thought, no push on it will pass. I couldn't do it and I just looked at my partner, tears welled up in my eyes and I said I can't do this anymore. I then cried for a really long time. I don't recall much after that.

Looking back the only thing I recall is crying and I don't know on which day, but I told my partner to shape up or ship out basically. I was done.

Sitting here this evening and I'm thinking what part of all this is normal? Generally not feeling much at all. Not even any interest in work or life. Just non responsive to emotion. I went to a book group today and it is like it happened a week ago but it was this morning. It feels like it was a different day other than Saturday.

My brain is still in a fog. I know I can't work right now. My brain just can't take anything in and sort it out. I'm worn out physically, emotionally and mentally. If I'm not highly anxious and stressed, I'm in bec, wanting to sleep and switch off.

I know I need to change my life. Not everything that has happened in the last 8 months was a result of my own choices. I feel like nothing makes any sense and my brain gets muddled trying to make sense. When I do think something makes sense, I'm thinking no your mind is pretty much screwed right now and it's not reliable. I feel vulnerable and my armor I had taken off, I have put back on. It's a horrible feeling trying to trust anyone when you are vulnerable

I just want some insight from anyone who has had a severe mental breakdown on how normal this is?

Thank you.

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In response to: Is this "normal"in the sense of a mental breakdown?

PowderfingerSenior Contributor25 Aug 2020, 2:58 am AEST

Re: Is this "normal"in the sense of a mental breakdown?

@Lostandalone

Firstly, take some of the pressure off to explain this. I completely get it.

From what you are describing, to me it sounds like a mental breakdown you had. I'm not sure if you are in any therapy? Judging from the rough idea you have given when you think it occured,shows that time is so incredibly lost for you. That us understandable too. It's ok not knowing either.

Giving the brain time to readjust will unfirtunaly take time out to do the things it needs to do. It will come back on slowly over time. In my experience, I know I can't push it. I don't know who I am anymore either and I'm scared all of the time. I hope you start to notice tiny little steps, however long that may be.

Take extra good care of yourself.

In response to: Is this "normal"in the sense of a mental breakdown?

PowderfingerSenior Contributor25 Aug 2020, 6:37 pm AEST

Re: Is this "normal"in the sense of a mental breakdown?

@Coping_somewhat

Thank you for sharing. I completely understand that point you got to as I got to the same point. You just have nothing left. I cried afterwards too. Big heaves, sobs and words among it. Then yes you feel a state of nothingness, blank and generally are not in a good way.

I have done that once. Checked myself into hospital. Another mental breakdown. It was right for me at that time. This time my circumstances are different. It's better for me to be in my home. I certainly could be in hospital definitely but that just makes me feel sick.

I'm sleeping more now whenever I feel like it. I've started therapy. I was already on medication. I have a very good doctor too. The fog is lifting slowly. That is scary.

The mental breakdown I have had is centred around extreme pressure for nine months straight, grief, loss, trauma and many changes.

So, there is exhaustion, extreme fatigue and generally mental instability.

I need lots of rest. I can understand it taking several years to come right again. The past, present and future feels overwhelming and daunting. I know I am going to have to rebuild.

I'm doing the best I can in this moment.

I hope you had a good day today. Thanks again for sharing.

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