Thoughts

Hi @NatureLover after today having trouble moving and yes feel depressed and headachy. I am able to generally cope when at work as I am so busy but found it very difficult today. Right now can't do anything.... Thanks for the hugs. By done I mean I don't want to keep trying/fighting/struggling anymore. Just had enough.

Hi, my stress is at an all time high unfortunately and I texted a crisis line. It didn't help at all, the counsellor was obviously in a chat with someone else at the same time lol as they asked me something they'd already asked then apologised and said they'd messaged me by mistake. I felt a bit dismissed, they took a considerable time to answer each time and the replies were quite generic.
I am not dissing the service though, some of the crisis text people are absolutely brilliant and so caring and helpful. I just lucked out today and got one not so good, sadly it happens.
I just want to disappear, to be gone. I am so tired of fighting every day. I had a few good days then it all came back. Work is so awful right now too.

Hi @Lilly6

Thank you for your post. I acknowledge that youre struggling emotionally (along with other stresses like work) and its sometimes difficult to communicate that. But glad youre here to discuss all of these thoughts 🙂

NiteKat (mod)

Hi @Lilly6

Sorry things are still giving you grief hun. I popped in to check on you and say hi. I really hope that today brings some happiness your way, you deserve that. Much love x

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@Lilly6 wrote:

By done I mean I don't want to keep trying/fighting/struggling anymore. Just had enough.

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Thanks for explaining, @Lilly6 . I wish the depression would ease for you...

I am also sorry that your stress is so high, and that texting the crisis line didn't help at all that time.

I hope you can hold on till the good days come back...you recently had a few good days...I can hear how fed up and exhausted you are of fighting it 😞

Sending you some more hugs...

Thank you @NatureLover , I wish the depression would go away too and I could go back to before it really set in. Stupid black cloud just won't go away.
Today at work was not too bad - I was left alone to get on with my work which hasn't happened much lately as my new supervisor is trying to micromanage 😡

Crisis lines are a waste of time I think, of course there are some wonderful competent people there which is wonderful but only takes one bad experience to put you right off them. All they want to know is whether you intend to take action right now if tomorrow or a couple of days etc then they don't care.
I don't want to tell crisis line when it is time either as they send police and take you to hospital which just delays the inevitable.

Thank you for explaining, @Lilly6 ...I'm glad you had a better day at work.

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@Lilly6 wrote:

I don't want to tell crisis line when it is time either as they send police and take you to hospital which just delays the inevitable.

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I'm a bit worried about this, by "the inevitable" do you mean suicide?

Thank you @NatureLover work was ok, meetings most of the day and I had a shocking headache sadly.
And yes by inevitable I mean suicide.

Hi @Lilly6

I just need to interject and respectfully suggest to you and all our forum members that suicide is never an inevitability for anyone no matter how distressed or in pain they may feel. Other paths are always possible and support can be found.

take care

Whitehawk

Hey @Lilly6

I'm sorry things are still not good. Micromanaging is the pits. I can't stress enough that you should seek different employment hun even if you just grab anything to get you out of there and keep searching for a good fit long term. Thinking of you 😘