visible SH scars

Up until last week, it had been over a decade since anyone (aside from my partner) asked about my old self harm scars. I'd wondered if perhaps they'd faded enough to not be noticeable. Apparently not.

I had a lie at the ready. I'd prepared it in advance for just this very occasion and pulled it off easily.

It's just a weird thing. They'll always be with me. I don't mind these ones, they kind of make me feel tough in a weird sort of way. That's how I felt when I was causing them too. Like it was proof that no one could hurt me if I could do this to myself. Sometimes I still want to do it, even though it's been years since I last did the particular self harm thing that caused that.

I have others in another location that I associate with weakness instead. Those weakness ones will always be noticeable but they're almost always covered by clothing. So I guess that's fortunate.

I dunno what this post was meant to be about, just stuff on my mind because of being asked about stuff I guess.